Marriage & the D Word

          This topic has been on my mind for so long that it was just begging me to be let out. The problem with this topic is that it's highly sensitive and has been known to cause temper eruptions, long and loud arguments as well as verbal abuse from those who disagrees with what I'm about to say. But hey, if Dina Zaman (author of 'I Am Muslim') can talk about it in her column in The Star, then why should I keep quiet?

          A sudden search for The Star's contact numbers brought me to the online column of Dina Zaman, 'A Writer's Life', who, just a day before my search, wrote an interesting column titled 'Today's Men Not Like Our Fathers' (http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/5/22/focus/21309067&sec=focus). Now, before I continue, I would like to give fair warning to ALL Malay men out there to keep an open mind and think before you start lambasting either me or Dina Zaman. If you can't handle it, then please, PLEASE, stop reading.

          Ok, so back to the column, Dina Zaman was musing over the question 'Why are the men of today not like our fathers?' Many people she knows are either divorced or are in the proceedings of divorce, and she brought up numerous relationship and marriage cases where the wives are crying acts of infidelity, laziness, irresponsibility and abuse by their husbands.

          The first case she brought up was of a girl she met on a flight who asked for her advice. "...her husband now uses condoms with her because he’s been sleeping around, and because he didn’t know where the girls have been and because he loves her, the wife, he’s protecting her. From disease." And Dina's first response to that in her column was, "Wow. Is that love or what?"

          Call me stupid or naive but if you love your wife, won't you NOT sleep around with other women in the first place?

          Another case that I really must bring up from the column is one I have heard soooo many times and one that I myself have been guilty of: staying in an abusive relationship.

          "I see an old friend for tea. She looks like a walking aubergine. Brinjal to you. Her husband beats her up for the heck of it and to discipline her. I ask her, why did she marry him?

          She tells me: “Dina, I’m like you. Our fathers were diplomats. We had non-Malay boyfriends. But at the end of the day, semoden-moden kita ni (no matter how modern we are), we think of God. So I married him because of bangsa dan ugama (race and religion). I married a Malay man because I thought of akhirat (Judgment Day).”

          She weeps and tells me: “Fat lot of good that did me.”"

          Alot of people I know are either married or are in the stages of getting married, and I am very much happy for them and wish them loads of joy. Me? Years ago, I would have looked forward to the idea of being married to someone I love, but now, with a combination of personal experiences and stories, I'm scared shitless!! And in my defence, I am not the only one!!! Even Dina herself is having second thoughts of remarrying, saying, "Marriage is for the brave."

          The thing about this divorce and marriage problem is the classic 'he says, she says', or 'the blame game'. Husband blames wife for negligence, nagging, etc, so he decides to find someone who 'treats him as he should be treated'. Wife blames husband for ignorance, infidelity, etc, so she too decides to find someone else, or, worse, get a divorce. Thank the heavens if the couple doesn't have a child or else where will the child stand?

          Couples of today don't really attempt to work out their problems. Marriage was suppose to be forever. Do you even remember the vow "Till death do us part" (for the Western marriages lah)? Well, neither of you are dead yet. When something goes wrong with the marriage, they always do one of these choices: (a) divorce, or (b) sleep around or marry another. I am ashamed to say that even the men in my family are guilty of those acts and their father (my grandfather) was akin to Dina's father, who is a successful, practicing Muslim and who is loyal and un-abusive to his family.

          Where have the Malay men of yesteryear disappear to? What has happened to their honour? How far have they strayed from the Malay culture and Islam? Would they ever return?

         To Dina's musing question 'Why are they not like our fathers?", well, I'm sorry to tell you, Dina, that my father and my father's father are not like your father so perhaps my expectations for Malay men are considerably lower than yours.

          Yes, yes, yes, I hear you. "Don't always pick on the men. Why don't you pick on your own gender?" Yes, I do agree that both Malay men and women have changed drastically since our forefathers' time, but my topic today is on men. Don't even get me started on the stories of husband-snatchers, one of whom is my very own step-mother.

Shrimp-licious

"Life is like a box of chocolate. You never know what you're gonna get."

The ever famous quote from Forrest Gump. Ever since its film adaptation from the 1986 novel, I've been hearing that quote over and over. And the thing is, I never really understood it. I mean, sure, maybe zillions of years ago, a box of chocolate is full of surprises, but nowadays the cover of the box always has pictures of each chocolate with a description of what filling it has; almond, cream, caramel, etc. Buuuuuut I'm running away from my point.

If you didn't notice, there's a new eatery at the Curve called Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. And yes, your assumption is correct, it does have a connection with Forrest Gump.

Bubba Gump is named after Forrest Gump and his army friend, Benjamin Bufford "Bubba" Blue. In the film, their plan was to open a shrimping business after the war but unfortunately, Bubba died during the war. Inspired by the 1994 film, Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. came to life two years later in 1996, opening its first branch in Monterey, CA.

Now, finally, finally, FINALLY, after all these years, Bubba Gump has finally reached Malaysia. And I had the chance to taste its food about 10 days after it opened.

Their menu is unbelievable, in taste, size and..... pricing. They have an entire section dedicated to shrimp with delicious titles like Shrimpin' Dippin' Broth (shrimp in spicy broth with rice and bread), Chipotle Shrimp (shrimp in creamy Parmesan sauce) and "I'm Stuffed!" Shrimp (crab-stuffed shrimp baked in garlic butter). I had Dumb Luck Coconut Shrimp, a supposed favourite dish of Bubba, served with Cajun Marmalade sauce and fries, which is quite delicious if you don't mind the taste of coconut flakes.

If you're allergic to seafood or simply don't like shrimp, don't fret, Bubba Gump's menu has other choices for meat-eaters. There's the typical Captain's Fish & Chips (this one is beer-battered in the US, not sure how it's cooked in Malaysia), burgers and sandwiches such as Texas Cajun Chicken Sandwich, and salads for the dieters. I had Mama's Southern Fried Chicken which had the best mashed potatoes with gravy, yum!!!!

Although their menu is halal, they do serve alcohol so drinkers won't be disappointed and the non-alcoholic drinks are quite a tasty selection. I tried a Peanut Butter Alabama Sweet Smoothie (if you like peanut butter, this drink is for you). Some drinks even allow you to keep the glasses they come in, but you have to collect it from the gift shop. Yes, people, Bubba Gump has a gift shop, right beside the restaurant. Choked full of t-shirts, key-chains, mugs and glasses, everyone can take home a souvenir.

Oh, yeah, I mentioned pricing, didn't I? Well, considering how pack the place is, you would think the pricing would be affordable, yes? It is, but I wouldn't exactly recommend it for those with a tight budget. Try it at least once, but the next time you go there, make sure it's for a special occasion. And make sure that there are at least 2 of you because, trust me, the servings are huge!!

Oh, oh, oh, one thing you must know before you go to Bubba Gump is the signboard. Signboard? Yes, signboard, or, ok, fine, we can call it plates. On each table, you will find two car license plates; one red with Stop, Forrest, Stop and one blue (or was it green?) with Run, Forrest, Run.

What's their purpose? Well, instead of waving your hand hysterically to get the waiter's attention, you use the plates. The blue one says "Everything's fine at my table" while the red one is used to motion a waiter to come over and help you. We didn't really know what it was for so we kinda tested it out and lo behold, it actually works. In fact, it works even better than holding up your hand. The customer at the table next to me was trying so hard to get about 5 waiters' attention (all of whom just passed him by) while all I did was flip the plate and zoom, the waiter appeared. It seems that they're trained to spot the redness that they seem to be blind to other gestures.

Oh, and why the phrase 'Run, Forrest, Run'? Well, for those who don't know, in the novel and the film, Forrest Gump ran across the country and became famous for it because he ran it several times, in over three and a half years.

There are many other things I haven't even touched on about Bubba Gump but I'll let you find out about it on your own. What's the point of having an adventure if you already know what you're expecting, right? :) Enjoy the food!!!

Cotton Words

          Has anyone realized the latest trend in t-shirts around KL nowadays? Think reeeeaaaaaalllllly hard. No idea? Well, does Little Miss Naughty or Little Miss Curious ring a bell? No? Walk around the Curve fleamarket during the weekends and you'll see what I mean.

          When I was growing up, there was this book series entitled Mr Men and Little Miss. Each title in the series told a story about a particular character, such as Little Miss Chatterbox who talks and talks, or Mr Greedy who just eats and eats (visit http://www.mrmen.com/ or http://www.ilovemrmen.com/ for more info). Well, they seem to be making quite a comeback recently, what with Kinokuniya selling the books and t-shirt vendors importing the character t-shirts (RM29 each at Curve fleamarket). Apparently, in Singapore, the Mr Men trend has been going on for quite some time and Malaysia is just only experiencing the craze. The thing is, the series is called Mr Men and Little Miss, but I've only seen Little Miss t-shirts. I even asked the vendors for Mr Men t-shirts but they say, "Don't have". Is it 'don't have' or 'takkan laku so tak ambik' (won't sell so won't take)? Face it, would you really see a guy wear a character t-shirt like Mr Tickle or Mr Clumsy? Hahahhaha!!!

          Another trend among t-shirt wearers is the most sought-after 'Couple' t-shirts. You know those types: 2 t-shirts to be worn together by the boyfriend and girlfriend, such as the popular 'I Love My Boyfriend, I Love My Girlfriend' and 'Romeo, Juliet' (all can be found at Curve fleamarket).

          For those who are single or unromantic, there are other wordings, such as 'Tell me why I need a boyfriend', 'Fat people are harder to kidnap' and 'I only look innocent'.

          T-shirts with words are getting more and more popular nowadays since they are one way to convey your personal message to the world without opening your mouth. Or, for the vain people, they simply attract attention.

          But how come most wordings on t-shirts don't follow our current affairs? I mean, yeah, there's the usual 'Peace to the World' and 'Say no to War'. But what about socially? If there are t-shirts to say 'I love my boyfriend' for faithful girlfriends, why not have a naughty one for players, like:-

                     

          Or how about one for the 'threesome':-

     

          Another t-shirt craze is the film t-shirts. This is so obvious. Wait for a major movie to come out and you'll see tons of its t-shirts (real or fake) bombarding the market. Take Transformers for example. There's a story of one guy who printed the Transformers t-shirts at a cheap price and sold them at a killing figure on e-bay. Damn!! Should have thought of that. I wonder if Ironman has any t-shirts?

          We need some sort of movie and major event t-shirts too. Like, maybe before the election, we could have t-shirts like:-

                                     

          Just kidding. But I'm sure someone out there will buy it if the t-shirt actually exists.

          Just wait for, oh, maybe another week, and you'll start seeing Indiana Jones t-shirts out in the market (if they're not already out there). Oh, and if you wait for a while, I'm pretty certain someone in the t-shirt market will make even worse slogans than the ones I made up there. In the meantime, I'm gonna think up more weird t-shirt slogans. It's kinda fun, hehehe!!