Do you remember all those chic lit books you read or see in the bookstore? How the late-20s or 30-something woman starts off alone with no boyfriend (or is divorced) and tries to find her place, her meaning, in life when all her other friends are either happily married (or simply married), or have wonderful boyfriends, or have successful careers? How she feels that she's such a failure in life, work and relationships? If you still can't grasp the plot, well, have you watched the movie 'Bridget Jones's Diary'? Yes, that is exactly what I'm trying to describe.
A lot of people laugh at such stories, finding it ridiculous, pathetic and totally unreal. They find the unhappiness the single woman feel as grossly exaggerated, her attempts to find love as unbelievably sad, and her story.....well, nearly impossible to be true. But these women I'm describing.....they do exist.
This new year of 2009 has A L O T of weddings. As of this moment, I have already attended one and know of three more that will happen within these year. Do you realize that weddings are depressing for some people? It's not that you're not happy for your friends and families who have found their, hopefully, lifetime spouse. You're delighted for them, but at the same time, you can't help but feel sad and sorry for yourself. There you are, around the same age as your friend/relative (or God forbid, older) but you're still alone, unmarried. And it doesn't help that you have those people who just have to come up to you and ask, "So, when's your turn?" It's the equivalent to people asking married couples when they're gonna have children; it's just irritating and an unnecessary stress.
If being single at a wedding isn't bad enough, imagine being in a relationship at a wedding. Watching someone else walk up the aisle will more often than not trigger the question, "When will that be me?" As the relationship goes on (if you're in one), you start to wonder, 1) is he/she the right one for me?, 2) is he/she even serious about me?, 3) will he/she marry me? So many questions, so little time.
It's even worse for women. There's the teasing of being an 'old maid' and there's also that ever-present matter of your 'biological clock' for those who want children. When you reach a certain age, you feel that there's no more time to waste. You feel like shaking and asking that partner of yours, "Hey, are serious about me or not? Don't waste my time!"
Sometimes I wish relationships were clear-cut, easy, simple, straight-to-the-point. Some relationships I've seen and heard seem so much easier. Take my cousin for instance. The man she married has made it clear from the beginning, way before he was even in a relationship with her, that he wanted to marry her. She had nothing to worry about and could continue the relationship comfortably, knowing that he's not going to just pack up and leave one day, saying, "I don't think we're going to work out."
I wish some people would be better in making their partner feel more secure in their relationship. Perhaps when you meet the right guy/girl, you won't feel so bad. The question is, when will you find the right one for you?
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