Yesterday's Star paper had an article on suicide by Dr Herbert Mandell, which listed down the reasons for suicide as well as its warning signs. It was an interesting read but what bugged me slightly was the sentence 'it's best to know the signs of danger'.
Truthfully, in the current world of stress, would anyone even notice signs such as 'crying easily', 'exhaustion', or 'low self-esteem', which to some people are common behaviour when dealing with problems and trials? In a society caught up in self-interest with people too busy going about their daily life, would anyone even care?
Some warning signs can be physically seen such as 'change in appearance', but there are some that are not 'in your face' or not noticable immediately, such as 'decrease in grades' and 'diminished involvement in usual interests'. Usually when your grades drop, people would either scold you or tell you to work harder. You won't see people looking at your low marks and commenting, 'Are you thinking of committing suicide?' As for the diminished interest in activities, people would usually assume that you're too busy or simply lost interest.
Another warning sign is 'creating artwork or writing or listening to music on death/dying'. Seriously, coming from an ex-suicidal person, when someone really wants to die, they would just go and do it. They won't show their writings and artworks or leave it lying around. They would hide their intention from family and friends. Similar to anorexics who would bundle themselves in baggy bulky clothing to hide their skinny figure, force-vomit themselves in a locked and secluded toilet, and cunningly create excuses not to eat. They won't admit they have a problem.
When you can actually see the signs, it means that the potential victim is actually seeking for help by telling you or subtly showing you that they are unhappy or unable to cope with life. They may talk or think about disappearing from the world, but really, they are scared. But like I mentioned before, how many people would actually notice these signs or take time to listen and understand what they are saying?
A few months back, there was another article on depression and suicide in The Star. The author stated that it is not the fault of the victim for feeling worthless, it is the fault of society who does not have any compassion or time to understand them. Once, someone confessed her intention to 'disappear' to a friend, however what she got drove her even further down the depression road. Basically, what the friend did was compare the problems of a suicidal person with the problems of a soon-to-be-wed person, and stated that 'the wedding couple has even bigger problems than you'. So does that mean the person who wants to kill himself is secondary to one who is facing wedding preparations?
Society has gotten so used to death, what with all the reports of people murdering people and people hanging or killing themselves, that the news of suicide is no longer shocking or taboo. Last year, a group of Japanese students killed themselves in a mass suicide around the country. In Singapore, you'll hear case after case of people hanging themselves due to numerous reasons such as debt, low grades and depression. In Malaysia, one suicide case among many was the Indian mother who positioned herself on the railway tracks with her children, awaiting an oncoming train.
The signs are there but would you be able to see or notice it? Even those who tried to let out their intention might not be able to get through to their close ones, unless they say outright 'I want to kill myself'.
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