The other day I decided to head down to Burger King for dinner and picked up Malaysian Today, a free youth weekly newspaper, to read as I munch. The cover page totally pulled my attention away from my food as the bold red title 'A Big, Fat Issue' slammed itself into my eyes. Not only was there a 2-page article on image issues, the Chief Executive Officer, Jessie Soon, also wrote a short editorial on it.
Jessie Soon relates how she feels sad for her friend who's on the slightly weighty side and how she tries so hard to lose weight only to gain the pounds all back again. It is her personal belief that 'true friends don't really bother about how big or small' a person looks and that 'others are more inclined to like or dislike a person based on his or her personality rather than their weight'.
[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="200" caption="How heavy am I?"]
While I strongly agree with Jessie Soon, I have to say that people who are immune to other people's body are a minority in our current world. Face the facts; image does matter. Other people do judge you by how you look. It sucks, yes, I know. It's stupid, yes, I agree. But then again, the current world is full of superficial image-conscious people. The 2-page article even goes as far as to quote that 'studies show that attractive people get smiled at more often, are more likely to ace a job interview, and unbelievably, are found guilty less often in court'.
The article referred to fashion trends of the past, including the plump trend during the Victorian age and the corset rage in the 19th century, and how they went away after a while. However, this 'thin is in' trend has been around for quite some time and I don't believe it will go away anytime soon, not as long as the media keep portraying skinny celebrities as idols and role models.
As I have written many times before (back in 2007), I have been through weight-consciousness and self-esteem issues to the point of becoming anorexic. I wouldn't eat, I avoid eating with people, I lied whenever someone asked me if I've eaten, all because people around me was commenting how big I was or how much weight I gained. I managed to pull myself out of anorexia, though, and developed a more sensitive attitude towards weight.
Because of my experience, I refrain from commenting on how big a person has gotten. I cannot tell how often Malaysians greet each other with "Wah, so fat already". Yes, most Malaysians are not known for their sensitivity. These are the kind of people I try my hardest to avoid because it shows that they have no tact whatsoever and that they care too much about image. Would they like it if everytime I see them I go "Wah, you so ugly now"? This is a topic that I predict will never go away so the best solution if you're weighty and you care about what people say is to avoid these shallow-minded people.
I don't understand why other countries don't really pay mind to big girls. Just the other day I was watching the gameshow 'I Survived' and the last two American male contestants had their wife & girlfriend come onto the show, and they were both 'very voluptuous women'. The men sure as hell didn't care with the dating guy proclaiming proudly to the camera that he can't wait to marry his girlfriend. So why do Malaysian men care so much about their wife's body shape? I mean, you married her because you love her, right? Because of her personality, right? Because of who she is, right? Bloody hell, no!!
Take my father, for instance. He goes on to his friends about how women gain weight after they get married, but you're the one who married your wife!! Don't tell me you never once thought that it was possible your wife would gain weight after giving birth to your children??!! I once asked my boyfriend what he would do if we ever got married and I gained weight. He said, "I'll start buying you sexy lingerie in XS size." I so wanted to whack his head. The best reply I've ever gotten was from my ex-boyfriend who said that if I gained weight, he would ask me to accompany him to go jogging to make sure that I stay healthy. Why can't more men be like this?
I have dated chubby men before and men my friends find totally unattractive, but I don't give a damn. In my eyes, they are wonderful inside and out, and I hope that I would be lucky enough to marry a man who will love me for who I am, regardless whether I look like a stick or a blimp.
Here's an advice to my fellow women who have faced insults and scorn over your body: just like Jessie Soon say, love your body and start living your life to your own expectations and beliefs instead of others. Don't let anyone, anyone at all, bring you down or make you think you are lesser than them. We are all humans, we all came from the same place, and we are all equal, regardless of our looks.
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