How to Behave at a Wedding

I have been to my fair share of weddings over the years, weddings of relatives, friends and strangers. My most recent one is my friend's brother's wedding where I helped out as an usher. I noticed, after this latest event, most Malaysians are not aware of how to behave at weddings. Here's a list of what NOT to do when attending a wedding:-

• Let me tell you why RSVP is important. When weddings are held at halls or hotel ballrooms, the tables are limited and are often assigned to selected names. When you are invited and you RSVPed yourself and your wife, there will only be 2 of your names listed at an assigned table. If you choose to bring another guest or your children without informing the invitees, you have caused the problem of the organizers having to reshuffle the tables and names, or open another table, which will cost them more money. You also create the problem of the organizers having to shuffle the other guests at your table to be seated elsewhere simply to accommodate your selfish, thoughtless self. So (1) When a wedding requires you to RSVP, kindly do RSVP and inform the total number of attendees. Even though the invitation says 'Mr Name and Wife', if you're bringing your children, tell the invitees that they will be, what, 3, 4 of you attending. DON'T arrive at the wedding hall bringing other uninformed guests.

• Unless you are family members or the organizers, you do not have to right to decide where other guests sit. I encountered a lady who put it upon herself to redirect where people sit, even though she is not a family member or an organizer. Because of her, we faced the problem of having to reshuffle not one, but two tables of guests to other tables. So (2) If you have been assigned to a table, please sit at that table. If you wish to sit elsewhere or with friends, if there is space or lack of guests, it is fine. If not, you can mingle with your friends later.

• Another 'mistake' I've noticed is minimal but it does happen. Unless it is a dress code, guests, please DO NOT wear white. You're at someone else's wedding, not your own, so let the bride have the honour of being the only one to wear full-on white, even if she does decide to wear another colour. I encountered a lady wearing all white, and she was the only guest to do so, which set her apart from the rest and also garnered the attention which should have been on the bride. So (3) Refrain from wearing a full white outfit (it's not your wedding), or a full black outfit (it's not a funeral). If you are wearing white or black, set it off with another colour, either a scarf or jacket.

• The happy couple and their family extended their invitations to you to join them on their happy day. It is rude if you choose to leave early without giving thanks to the family. I have seen many wedding guests doing what I call the 'eat-and-run'; they come to the wedding, they eat their fill and leave without congratulating the family. So (4) If you really need to leave early (because of a meeting the next day or something), then kindly say thanks to the family before taking leave. If you don't need to leave urgently, then kindly stay until the ceremonies are over. After all, it is only polite.

These are but a few basic behavioural rules when attending a wedding, but some guests are either unaware of it or simply don't care for it. It will help relieve alot of headaches if guests could just kindly be more considerate towards the family and the other guests. Keep in mind that you would feel the same way if the guests at your wedding or your loved one's wedding behave in those inconsiderate ways.