Movie Review: The Big Short

*Let it be known, where there are reviews, there are spoilers.

Based on the 2010 book of the same title by Michael Lewis, The Big Short follows the events that led to the 2007-2008 financial crisis caused by the U.S. credit and housing market collapse.

Although The Big Short has a considerable all-star cast, locally the movie did not generate much response. Most likely due to its plot, which is more relatable to American citizens, or its subject matter, which non-financial individuals might find too complicated for their taste.

However, even with my limited knowledge of the housing and financial market, the movie did quite well in trying to explain some aspects of it. Using celebrities such as Anthony Bourdain and Selena Gomez, these sudden snippets managed to add some fun and liveliness in what could have been a long and dry 2-hour-plus movie. These bits are fairly short and far in between, but entertaining nevertheless.

As is famous with many Hollywood movies in recent years, The Big Short follows several characters as they each discover the instability of the housing market and the prediction of an immense economical breakdown. The movie swaps between the characters' stories constantly but is still easy enough to follow.

The actor you will probably remember the most after the movie is Steve Carell, who plays Mark Baum. As a well-known comedian, it is hard to identify the constantly angry, cynical hedge fund manager as the same actor in Get Smart and Evan Almighty. But Carell carries his role very well and as his story progresses, you find yourself feeling sympathetic towards him and start believing in his cause to take down the big banks.

Michael Burry (Christian Bale)

The least memorable for me is Christian Bale as Michael Burry, the first to discover the unstable housing market and the one who started the bets against the market. It is not a reflection of him or his real-life character, but perhaps the other roles were much more powerful compared to his somewhat weird yet subdued personality. His way of thinking is really interesting, though, and how he sticks to his guns amidst the pressure from all parties is admirable.

If it wasn't for the many times I have seen Brad Pitt's profile, I would have completely missed him in the movie. He was almost unrecognisable with all his facial hair. Similar to Mark Baum, Brad Pitt's character, Ben Rickert, is also disgusted with the corrupted financial institutions but is less vocal about it (and much more paranoid as seen by his methods of concealment).

Trying to film in the past is always hard, especially when you're filming on the streets and have outside factors interfering and revealing the true year. Here are some goofs that IMDB (the Internet Movie DataBase) noticed from the movie.

I would say that it is an educational movie that documents the unforeseen and highly unexpected fall of one of the most 'secure' markets. Other than that, it is a good documentary of the greed of men and how, as is the case with most political and economical situations in the current world, easy it is to sweep away all morals and principles when huge profits are imminent.

The movie will leave you feeling smart (hey, you actually learnt something historical) yet it will shake your belief in 'the system' as the conclusion will reveal that nothing had changed, even after the complete economy collapse caused by the huge scale of fraud.

Ben Rickert (a.k.a Brad Pitt in the film): If we're right, people lose homes. People lose jobs. People lose retirement savings, people lose pensions. You know what I hate about fucking banking? It reduces people to numbers. Here's a number - every 1% unemployment goes up, 40,000 people die, did you know that?

Food Review: Nescafe Smoovlatte

The other night, while satisfying my craving for snacks, I ran across something new in 7-Eleven; Nescafe Smoovlatte.

Nescafe Smoovlatte

Now, I used to love Nescafe but I stopped drinking it a few years ago when it started to make me kinda gag. So I was hesitant when I bought it, but...call me curious. :)

It was a pleasant surprise. I was expecting a taste like one of those tinned cans of Nescafe Mocha, Nescafe Latte or Nescafe Original but it's much better than that.

It was smooth (duh, it's called Smoovlatte) and you can taste a hint (just a slight hint) of nuttiness but lots of milk. It doesn't really have that strong coffee smell that makes coffee-lovers perk up even though the bottle says it's aromatic, but maybe that's because it's in a bottle.

It's quite a small bottle, only 190ml but it's enough to fill a cup of coffee. Calorie count-wise, it's a little bit high at 110 kcal which is more than the coffee I usually drink. Cost-wise, I think it's quite on the expensive side at RM3.00 at 7-11 (it's RM2.79 at Cold Storage). Its tin counterparts are bigger at 240ml and is around the RM2.00 price range. Maybe the bottle costs more? In my opinion, I think it costs more because they're marketing it in a high-class image, just like Nescafe Gold.

Personally, I think it's much better than the other prepackaged Nescafe drinks, and even better than the Nescafe Dolce Gusto coffees but I wouldn't buy it on a regular basis due mostly to the price and because I like my coffee with a more nuttier taste.

But if you want a change, give it a try, but buy it from Cold Storage; it's cheaper. :D

Sometimes...2

Sometimes, you find yourself getting so fed up with the human race and their endless emotional turmoil. There are times you find your counterparts' complaints and sensitive feelings petty and not worth a second of your time, especially when they seem to be constantly attacking you, your actions and your character. It's at times like these you feel as though you are better off alone and in certain cases, some might actually start to distance themselves from their friends, family or society in general (like a practice attempt to become a hermit :-D ).

Let's face it, friends fight, families argue, even unknown strangers can just ruin your entire day by being totally rude to you for no apparent reason. Some people are fortunate enough to not be bothered by this 'verbal diarrhea' (yes, this phrase does exist, ahaha, check it out here) or are too close to allow any quarrels to ruin their relationship. However, for others, there is a limit to how much verbal and emotional abuse they can take before they snap, either by retorting or by isolating themselves.

Yes, humans can be boring, constantly repeating their woes, their stresses. Humans can be 'so lah drama' (so true :laugh: ). Humans can be insensitive to the feelings of others, only paying attention to their need to vent to anyone, even if that unfortunate person doesn't deserve it. We can go on and on about the negativity of the human race, BUT...that is part of what we are, it is a no-refund-or-exchange package of a human. We cannot totally absolve our emotional trauma, we can only hope to squash it a little or learn to control it better. Some are able to do it better than most or are only able to do so after years of trial and error while some just simply don't bother.

I've had my fair share of being the brunt of people's verbal diarrhea; sometimes it's just them letting out some steam but more often than not, it's a 'constructive conversation' (a polite term of 'critical continuous attack' ) on my being. I wish they would just take a step back and look at themselves first before they keep pointing out my flaws. I'm not perfect but then again.....neither are you.

Attempting to see the positive side of it is not easy so I prefer thinking of a more humorous side of this particular situation, which I find much much easier to handle. :giggle: I remember this story I read in Robert Allen's '365 Pep Talks from Buddha' and I quote:-

Two monks were disputing an obscure point of the dharma. One began to get angry and, as he made his points, his voice got louder and louder. At last the other said, "I admit that your arguments are sound." Satisfied, the belligerent monk walked off. "Nothing but sound," muttered the other monk to himself.

It's true that most emotional outbursts are just sounds and it's true that any words we deem unworthy of our time or unsuitable for our 'delicate' ears are just noise, but it's more about how we handle our own drama and how we handle hearing other people's drama. I try to use humour to diffuse negative feelings whenever I'm confronted by people. 8-) Here's hoping that you have your own, and perhaps better, way of dealing it.

Double Meaning English

You know as well as I do that there are times when you simply don't realize what you're saying until someone starts laughing at you. It doesn't mean you're ignorant or anything, sometimes people can't help but think 'blue thoughts' when they hear certain words or phrases. Let's face it, we all have a hidden pervert somewhere deep down inside of us. :blush: Here are some instances when our well-meaning English just went haywire.

* * *

M was talking on the phone with a meat supplier. She was trying to purchase a turkey for an event and her 'blue headed' colleague, Mr S, was listening in on her side of the conversation.

M: Do you think you can supply us with a turkey for this event we're holding? Yeah, but I need to know...uh-huh, alrite. How big is your bird? No, I need to know how big your bird is. Yeah, how big is your bird?

Mr S was just guffawing away until M realized what exactly she kept repeating to the male supplier on the phone.

* * *

On a shopping trip, M saw a t-shirt that she thought was really cute. Holding it up to herself, she saw that the t-shirt was too big for her so she called the girl sales assistant over.

M: Do you have an 'S'? Can I see your 'S' please? (At this point, M's friend started laughing aloud at what he just heard with his 'dirty' ears.)

Sales assistant: Yes, yes, I will show you the 'S'. (Hearing this, M's friend started laughing even harder.)

* * *

While driving towards our destination, my friends and I were discussing which road was the best to take. Either direction would take us to the same destination and as I was the driver, it didn't matter to me as I was familiar with both roads.

So I said, "I can go both ways. Either way also can. No problem for me."

Suddenly, my friend, S, started giggling in the backseat, tickled by the fact that I was perhaps talking about my sexual relationship preferences.

* * *

Hanging out with my cousins at an eatery, we were munching on french fries when one cousin started to cut the long french fries into bite sizes.

S: No, don't cut them. I like long ones.

A: But it's easier to eat them when they're short.

N: I like them short. So S can have the long ones, give me the short ones.

It took us about a second to realize what our conversation sounded like and we started laughing at ourselves.

* * *

A family was celebrating their child's birthday and had balloons blown up for the occasion at an eatery.

The father, who was holding a balloon, looked at his young son and said, "Look at my balloon. My balloon so small. Wah, look at yours. Your balloon so big, bigger than mine."

My cousins and I, who were sitting at the next table, had to refrain from laughing at the 'double meaning' we heard in his words.

* * *

Driving back from a short outing, my cousin and I ended up talking about balloons and the sound they make when you rub them.

A: Oooh, I cannot. I'm scared of balloons. Scared they will pop.

Me: How can you be scared of balloons? You love blowing balloons.

Glancing at each other, we broke out in loud laughter inside the car.

* * *

Yes, some of the instances are very lame and most people won't even realize the implications. ?:-) But then, sometimes you just get into that state of mind when everything said seems to have a 'dirty' element/meaning in it. :sidefrown:

Sometimes...

Sometimes, you find yourself at a very low point in your life. It can be a time when nothing seems to go your way. It can be a time when you feel like the biggest failure in the world. It can be a time when you start to think, "What's the point of living?" It can be a time when you feel yourself start to crumble and unable to pick up the pieces, unable to get up again (kinda like Humpty Dumpty ;-)).

It is normal. Many people have experienced this feeling before. Some are lucky to have someone to lean on or even better, someone to help pick up the pieces, glue them back together and push them up. Others might not be as fortunate or may actually refrain from accepting or asking help from others. Everyone works in their own way, handling their life in whichever way they think is best for them. Asking for help doesn't make one weaker than others, not asking for help doesn't make one stronger than the rest either.

Anyway, when you feel this low, when you feel like a failure, you tend to forget that you have done some really great (ok, if not great, good then) things in your life. Just look around your room and I'm sure you have some mementos or keepsakes that bear good memories. Trophies and medals won during school competitions, certificates of education, acknowledgments of participation in activities, pictures of your travels, some writings you have done, heck, even small stuffed dolls won at funfairs count too. You'll be amazed at how much you have done and achieved once you lean back from your misery and take a good look around.

Sure, some would say, "But those are really small things. I didn't achieve something great like winning a nobel prize, or become a famous celebrity or a rich successful businessman." But then again, who decides what makes you successful? Who decides what makes you great? Being rich doesn't necessarily make you a great person, being famous doesn't necessarily mean happiness. It's all in your own perspective, choose your own path to what fulfills you. If you keep looking at what other people are doing, when will you have time to look at yourself and make your own success, be it richness or a close-knit family?

When I feel low (as low as a snake's belly), I like to remember this particular story I read in Robert Allen's '365 Smiles from Buddha' and I quote:-

A certain king called together his wise men and commanded them to have a magic ring made for him. It should cheer him up when he was unhappy, but when things were going well, it should stop him from getting proud and overbearing. They went away and puzzled over the problem for a long time. At last someone had a bright idea. A gold ring was brought to the king and on it were engraved the words, "This too shall pass."

Those four words help me alot whenever I'm down (I tend to focus on the negative, not so much on the positive unfortunately :laugh: and that phrase is kind of like my mantra).

And so, I would look around my room, note the accomplishments I have done so far and I find that life doesn't seem so bleak after all. I find that I'm not such a failure after all and that I am still capable of success, in my own way, in my own terms. Thus, the phrase above comes to mind and I know that this feeling of inadequacy will pass. :victory: Here's hoping that your sadness will pass too.

As I Sit Here...10

As I sit here, at Kiz Sport & Gym in One Utama, I watch as my 4-year old nephew (soon to be 5) come running up to me from his bouts in the playground.

"Auntie, I want Milo," he says.

"I want Milo, please," I tell him, still trying to educate him on politeness.

"I want Milo, pleeeeease," he repeats after me, stretching the last word. "I- I want Milo so I can grow big."

"Why you want to grow big?" Excuse my English, I am, after all, talking to a 4-year old whose native tongue is Bahasa Malaysia.

"I want...I want to be bigger than my friend." I glance over at his friend/classmate, who is a white boy with a build that is bigger and taller than my slightly slim and small nephew. I dig out my purse and listen with half an ear as my nephew proceeds to tell me how he wants to be stronger and taller so he wants to drink Milo everyday.

As I watch him run off with my RM10 note to the food counter, I start to wonder why my nephew thought Milo would help him grow bigger. Then I remember my own experience, also involving Milo.

When I was in primary school, we had a mini inter-class race. I remember spurring on one of my teammates in particular because she had eaten some Milo snacks (I think it was Milo nuggets or something) before the race. I was muttering, "C'mon, you can do it. After all, you ate Milo just now." Don't ask me the reasoning behind this; at that point in time, in my childish mind, I had some sort of belief that Milo has the power to make you run faster, be stronger, etc. When it came to my turn at the race, I sprinted, believing the whole time that I can zoom pass all the other kids because I had a 'Milo' edge. Don't ask me if we won 'coz I can't remember, haha!

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="192" caption="Nestle Milo (from www.deliver2u.com.my)"][/caption]

The thing is it's amazing how some advertisements can penetrate your conscious mind and it's even more amazing how the same product can span the generations  (case in point, me and my nephew) with the same belief; Minum Milo, Anda Jadi Sihat Dan Kuat (direct trans: Drink Milo, you'll be healthy and strong. The real English slogan is something like Nestle Milo Brings Out The Champion In You!) Makes me wonder what other advertisements have penetrated my mind without me knowing.

P.S: Do you know that Nestle came out with a Neslo sachet (Nescafe coffee with Milo, for those who dunno)? I still haven't tried it yet but I'm gonna give that and the Nescafe Tarik sachet a try as soon as I find them, yum!

Don't Talk To Me...

I have said this many, many, MANY times both verbally and in written words; there is always a reason for the things I do.

For example, if I don't wish to communicate with a certain person, it could be because he/she may have offended me in some way or he/she has hurt one of my family members. If I refuse to visit a certain place, it could be because I have had a bad experience or service there. If I do not comment or contribute to a conversation, it could be because I do not wish to hurt anyone's feelings or risk being misinterpreted. There is always a reason behind my actions.

So, when I say "Do not talk to me about issues on race, religion and politics", there is a reason behind it.

I despise talking about racial, religion and political topics because I have seen with my own eyes, I have heard with my own ears, how these issues can break a friendship, shatter a relationship, separate family members. A husband and wife can argue and sleep in separate rooms during a political election because each supports different parties. Two friends can start arguing and debating over religion and stop talking to each other because they both have their own interpretations and beliefs. A nation can be divided into groups all up in arms and accusing each other because of racial tension, each believing the other is wrong.

I find it sad.

There's only a handful of people who I can talk these three issues with and they are my brother, my cousin (Syahrir) and my friend (Kuek). Although we all have contrasting beliefs, we are mature enough to understand that we each see things differently and yet not take that to offense, and most importantly, we know when to stop talking about it if someone is feeling slightly hot under the collar.

I would love to be as diplomatic as possible. I would love to not accuse anyone without proper proof. I would love not to pass judgment on a race, a religion, a politician. I would love not to say anything that might hurt or offend the other party. Yet, I find that regardless what I say or not say, it is never good enough. If I speak my mind and say something, it's wrong. If I do not wish to comment and don't say anything, it's wrong as well. So what do you want from me?

Another thing that frustrates me alot about these types of conversation is how I always get the short end of the stick. How come you can say whatever you want, how come you can speak your mind, but I can't? How come you can say 'I don't appreciate the comment you made' and when I retaliate by saying 'I don't appreciate the comment you made either', you get all defensive? If you don't want to listen or acknowledge other people's perspective then don't bring up the issue, simple as that. I am not the enemy so there's no point in you getting all riled up at me when all I am doing is listening to you talk about something I do not wish, never wish, to delve in and contributing to the conversation based on my own opinions.

Also, in these types of conversations, you'll be amazed at the assumption people can make about you. Just because I am of a certain race and of a certain religion in a certain country, people can actually tell me that I don't 'see' what the other races and the other religions see because my race and my religion are getting the cream of the crop. So, am I justified in saying that because you are not of a certain race and you are not of a certain religion, you don't 'see' what I see? If it can go one way, it can go the other way too.

After living all these years and hearing so many things, I have learnt not to jump to the first conclusion I arrive to. That is why some people would notice that I often say, "Maybe it's not that reason", "Mayhaps it's not what you think it is", "Perhaps it's another group causing trouble but pinning the blame on another group", "Perhaps it's better to say it in a different way." Ever thought of that? Maybe not, I guess.

Don't, please don't, assume that you know how I think, know what I see, know what I hear, know what I say, when in fact, you don't know me at all. Just because I don't say certain things or don't agree with you or don't say things you want to hear, it doesn't mean I am incapable of putting myself in other people's shoes. It doesn't mean that you're right or you're wrong. It just means that we have different opinions, different perspectives, different beliefs, because we are two different people and we each should respect the fact that we have our own views. Let's just say we agree to disagree and be done with it.

This is why I love to write. It is only here, in my post, that I am able to say what I really want to say because this is my post, my blog. Some people love to talk about these three issues. They love to point out that they're right. They love to argue non-stop and vehemently debate the other party into silence, especially about race and religion. And this is what I think (and I have mentioned this before in Silence of War): Regardless what race, religion, political party or nationality you are, '...strip off your skin, your colour, your beliefs, your brain, and you are all the same. You all have two hands, two feet, two eyes, one nose, one mouth. You all feel pain, sorrow, happiness. You all cry and laugh.' To add to that, in my humbly low opinion, at the end of the day, all these differences, all these endless racial, religion and political fighting, all these 'you're wrong, I'm right' judgments won't matter once I'm dead and buried. Because then, only God can pass judgment.

It's The New Year, People

Here it is again, the last day of yet another year when people around the world gather to countdown the hours, minutes, seconds to a new year. This is also the time when people start to make resolutions and plans for the upcoming year, when people think back to the events, occasions and incidents of the past 12 months and moan or rejoice at their individual happenings. It is a sad yet joyous time; sad because another year has gone and joyous because a whole new chapter is starting.

What was 2009 for me? Hmmm, well, at the top of my head, I can only pull out one thought; this year saw the longest time I've ever been single ever since I started dating. Hahahah, yes, I know that's a weird thing to say but I finally got a whole lot of time just for myself, without worrying about a boyfriend and the problems that are attached to having one. And my conclusion? I'm enjoying it very much and frankly, I am much happier being single than when I was in a relationship. It just goes to prove that I am independent and able to stand on my own two feet without a man. ;-)

Anyway, 2009 was pretty much quite calm for me personally, aside from a break-up, a public love confession on my Facebook from a salesman and some minor drama here and there, but it was somewhat of a hell for some of the people close to me. Two of my best girls have had their hearts broken, one fortunately has resolved the matter while one is still being tortured almost on a daily basis by a stupid guy. I hope that the new year will be much better in terms of relationship for her. :kissing:

But it wasn't all bad for love in 2009. Many of my friends got married and another one of my best girls was proposed underwater, sooooo romantic!! :heart:

Although some people may think of me as wasting my time and life this past year, I really do think that I am much happier and calmer than I've been in a long time and to me, that's all that matters. My family has my back and if my mom, dad and brother are not complaining about what I'm doing then other people's opinions do not matter with me. And besides, I'm not borrowing any money from people to live (I have my own) so why should they care? :talktothehand:

But I think my biggest break-through for this year was the whole change of appearance. Gone is the long hair that has been hounding me since I started school, hello to a new short, and my cousins said sexy, haircut. Ever since I cut my hair, it's like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I'm more carefree, happy and light. :-)) Also I noticed I have more energy since I maintained my jogging routine and even managed to increase the number of rounds that I jog. I feel better these past few months and hope to maintain it in the next year.

Of course, with every year, there are windows of opportunities opening and also opportunities missed. My brother and I almost bought over a business, and although it was sad to let the chance go willingly, I guess after thinking about it intensely, that opportunity just wasn't for us.

What's in store for 2010? Well, looking at my calendar now, there are alot of weddings to attend as my best girls are getting married!!! :party: And I foresee pregnancies and babies next year too ;-). For me, I'll be traveling alot, one agenda on my list is the climb up Mt. Kinabalu. I don't care how long it takes, I'm going to climb all the way to the top!! :shout: Also, hopefully, the planned trip to Redang is on because I miss the island so much. Other than that, we'll see how the year goes. I'm back to my 'go with the flow' motto. :giggle:

So, with the new year, there's usually a New Year's resolution, right? Well, the past two years, my resolution was to take as many pictures as possible, which I have done, but this new year, I need to better myself in some way so I figured out what bugged me the most this year, which was doing favours for unappreciative people. So my New Year's resolution for 2010 is to try and stop doing favours for people who don't appreciate them or appreciate me. Trust me, there have been alot of it going on in 2009 and I've got to nip it in the butt. :reallypissed:

I hope everyone will have a safe and happy New Year celebration. Do not look back to the past but focus on the future that is coming your way. We all have alot more living to do so let's get to it!! :victory:

Happy New Year!!!

As I Sit Here...9

As I sit here, reading Sally Anne Morris’s ‘Trick or Treat’, I find myself noticing the last sentence in this paragraph; “Lucy nodded back self-consciously, aware of her puffy eyes and swollen nose. She was not a good-looking crier.” :weep:

I have come across that particular or similar line a few times in my fiction-reading history and it makes me wonder, (1) Should we be crying nicely? (2) Can we cry and maintain our immaculate face and make-up?

I mean, you cry when you’re sad, right? (Well, most of the time, I don’t count the times you cry from laughing so hard). So when you’re sad and you’re crying, won’t tears flow down your eyes? And don’t your nose and cheeks start to turn pink? Also, don’t your face kind of scrunch up from all that sorrow, anguish, pain, whatnot? When all that is happening, can you actually maintain that perfect facial expression? :struggle:

I've seen myself cry before and trust me, it's not a pretty sight, hahaha! Why on Earth would I want to cry prettily anyway? Maybe it would look good on my resume, "Can cry prettily." I should get hired pretty fast, huh? ;-)

The Ugly Girl-ling

It's hard not to feel like the ugly duckling of the bunch when you're constantly surrounded by smoking hot chicas all the time. I mean, yeah, people might tell you that "Oh, you're pretty" or "Don't be silly, you're attractive too" but these are what people say to you, who, let's face facts, are usually your friends and family. But how about what you yourself see when you go out?

Case in point. The girls that I usually hang out with are all lovely (let's focus on physical beauty for the meantime, alrite, but that's not to say they're not lovely inside too. Don't put words in my mouth :X-P: ). Anyway, whenever I'm out with them, it's hard not to notice the stares and looks they get from the opposite sex. And it's not those leery 'I-wanna-get-in-your-pants' stares, it's those 'Wow, what an attractive woman. I would like to get to know her' looks :inlove:.

And sometimes it doesn't stop at the stares, they even get guys coming up to talk to them :hypnotized:. A foreigner actually went up to one of my girl friends right on the streets and said, "You're beautiful." Yeah, yeah, you might be thinking the guy just wants to test his luck but the point is, that totally random comment from a random guy made her feel so much more beautiful and appreciated as a woman. If I actually take the time to relate every single approach my girl friends and cousins have had from guys, I would have to make an entirely new blog.:eek:

When I look at each and every one of the girls I usually go out with, I kind of understand why guys are so attracted to them. Like with my friends L and M, L is the Chinese beauty with a beautiful singing voice and a really addictive laughter while M is this tall and thin dark beauty who looks really good in skirts and has beautiful eyes. My best friend E has this cute round face which lights up whenever she smiles or laughs and has really long silky hair (she managed to turn the heads of the male employees at One Utama's Live It Up! recently).

As for my cousins, we have A who has this captivating wavy hair, lovely body figure and a face that simply attracts attention and wolf-whistles. Then there's S, the diva of the group, who is always immaculate in her dressing and her make-up, looking all hot and sizzling no matter where she goes. Let's not forget I, whom I am always thankful she's wearing a tudung (head scarf) for she'll just knock out every man in her sight with her no-mercy combo of long fairytale wavy brown hair, fair skin, petite body and very expressive face. And last but not least is Z, who is the quiet one of the bunch, but it is that quiet wisdom and silent sense of humour that emits from her adorable face that is so attractive (she has a very cute laugh too).

Okie, for the sake of argument (because I know I'll have some family members protesting), here's how I am; I am one of two types, depending on my mood, which are either the gangster jeans-and-jacket girl or the gothic nothing-but-black girl, which apparently some guys find totally scary and unapproachable. :-?

I'm not saying I'm jealous or envious of them (truthfully I'm not, my family and God knows that very well) O:-). I'm actually really proud of them, even more so with their individual attitudes and personalities. But sometimes no matter how hard your family (or you yourself) tries to make you see that you're beautiful in your own way, it's just hard to feel good about yourself when time after time, the attention is on them and hardly ever on you :wilt:, not that I'm the attention-seeker type, mind you. Just feeling kind of down after recent events.

So, to the family who tries so hard to make me believe in myself, I do once in a while but this post is written so that you can actually see why I think the way I think. And yeah, this is how I think most of the time. :-D And please don't go into the whole 'Girl, you know you are each special in your own way' lecture because I've heard it so many times, I know it by heart. :laugh: This is just my way of letting loose of some emotional stress, that's all, nothing more. :victory:

The Dealt Hand

Sometimes life deals you a hand where you have no idea which action to take. Should you fold and live to gamble another day or should you take the risk and play the round, hoping that you won't lose much or at all?

There are times when the hand you are dealt with looks good but not good enough for you to know for sure that you're going to win. You can decide to play it out and hope to chance, luck, God, whoever, whichever, that you would win the round. But if your confidence is kind of shaky, then maybe it's better for you to fold and hold out until you are dealt with a hand that you are much more comfortable with.

Then again, some people would say that it's not the dealt hand that determines the win or lose, it's the person holding the hand. Even though it's a losing hand, someone who knows how to handle it would make the most of whatever was given, or even better, someone who is clever would be able to turn the losing hand into a winning one.

So which one am I?

In my younger years, I usually play with whatever hand I was dealt with. No matter how bad or good it looked, my motto was always, "Go with the flow." I mean, there's got to be a reason why God dealt me this hand, right? Why not just play the round on the off chance that something good might come out of it. True, I didn't come out all clean and scrape-free from some of the dealt hands but hey, I survived, didn't I?

But now, as I approach my older years, I find myself cautious to the point of being suspicious. The hand that I am dealt with looks good, but then again, does it look good because I want it to look good? Is it good enough? Can I play this hand and come off unscathed if it were to betray me in the end? Or is my expertise too low to be able to handle it properly?

It is at that point of thinking that I start to back off because it is safer to not play than to play and risk my soul, my heart, my mind, my money, whatever, whichever. True, I might miss out on the winning of a lifetime or something semi-good, but perhaps I find myself too old to gamble anymore. When I was young, it didn't seem that I would lose much should I choose to gamble; the healing process was quite quick for me to get back on my feet and play again in no time at all. But with time and death knocking on my door, constantly reminding me of their presence, I find it hard to just go with the flow anymore.

C.S. Lewis was quoted, "You play the hand you're dealt. I think the game's worthwhile." Here's my thinking: I don't think I can afford to play games, in life, in relationships, anymore.

As I Sit Here...8

As I sit here, reading the newspaper (a very rare occurrence), I noticed something slightly disturbing. I have started to take note of the names of accident victims.

I don't think anyone, including me, would ever like to find out that someone you know has died in an accident (or worse, murdered!) in the papers. I still remember the few times I've seen names I recognized in the papers and trust me, it's not a good feeling. Chills crept up from my toes to my head as I realized exactly what I was reading and I had to keep the fact that "No, it's not a story" constantly through my mind.

Perhaps that is among one of the many reasons why I don't really like reading the newspapers. Everyday, without fail, there is always rape, murder, killings, corruption, etc. slotted in with all the happy news of weddings, births, election winnings, etc. It's like having my emotions put through the wringer, going "Awwww!!" at the latest pet story or smiling at a new scientific discovery only to flip to the next page and frown in disbelief at the new drugs hitting the younger generation or swearing angrily at some injustice done to someone. Sigh, it's only 10am in the morning and I'm already emotionally tired. :-((

Yeah, yeah, this is reality. This is the real world, get with it, girl, but still.....don't you wish there was one day, just one single day, when nobody is being hurt or abused in any way? Just a thought.

Stranded 2

Writing about my mom forgetting me in the first Stranded post reminded me of another incident when she left me behind.....in a foreign country. :wilt:

On a group tour in Thailand one year, the bus brought us to this gigantic mall-like place where they sell local spices and ingredients. The whole busload came down so there were alot of us here and there in the shop. Being a young teenager, I stuck with my mom the entire time and eventually got bored. Standing a few feet away from her as she bargained and chitchatted with the counter lady, I turned around to watch the other counters.

It was a few minutes later when I turned back to my mom, only to find her missing. I shrugged inwardly, thinking she must be just a few counters away. So I walked around slowly and started to notice that the group I was touring with were getting less and less. Thinking that some of them have gotten bored and went back on the bus, I continued my search for my shopaholic mom. Going completely around the entire shop, my worry grew steadily as my mom stayed missing.

I peered through the glass front door and saw that the bus was still there so I didn't start to panic yet. Walking a few feet away from the door, I heard running footsteps and saw my mom bursting through the door.

Apparently, after buying her stuff, she looked at her watch and hurried to the bus. Sitting in her seat, she started to put her purchases away and heard the tour guide asking if everyone was on board. My mom nodded and said 'yes' along with the group as she finally leaned comfortably into her seat. She glanced at the seat next to her and only then did she realize that she had left her daughter behind. She yelled at the tour guide to wait as she flew down the bus steps to get me.

I still can't believe to this day how my mom can actually not realize she had left her daughter behind. Suffice to say, I was not happy with her for that entire day. :smug:

Food Review: Ikan Bakar Fend

Every town usually have their own famous favourite eatery. Like for TTDI, it's Muhibbah. For SS2, it's SS2 Murni. For the previous Lim Kok Weng area, it's Wiliams. Well, for the Kelana Jaya area of SS6, it's this corner lot Malay restaurant that's gaining increasing popularity and customers day by day. Let's get smoking with Restoran Ikan Bakar Fend.

[caption id="attachment_1998" align="alignleft" width="270" caption="Restoran Ikan Bakar Fend"][/caption]

Located at the corner shop of E-G-01, Jalan SS6/20A, Dataran Glomac, Pusat Bandar Kelana Jaya, my Kelana Jaya friend told me that Restoran Ikan Bakar Fend used to operate out of a white van just outside the nearby mosque and was always packed with customers, regardless whether it's lunchtime or not. I guess they made more than enough money to actually open a real shop in mid-2008, much to the happiness of their customers, both old and new.

[caption id="attachment_2001" align="alignright" width="180" caption="Employee roasting fishes"][/caption]

Now what's so special about this place? The food, and only the food, which is how a real eatery should be.  :-))  The main focus here is the 'ikan bakar' (roasted fish), which is the first thing you will smell and see as you approach the restaurant. A lone man can be seen right at the front, fanning smoke as he flips and roasts tons of fishes on his gigantic grill. True, the smoke can be irritating to some but it's all part and parcel of eating 'ikan bakar'.

With my friends encouraging me to try the 'ikan bakar', we went inside to queue and choose our fish. Yep, this is not a sit-down-wait-for-waiter restaurant. You have to line up and pick the fish you want (my favourite is the 'ikan pari' (stingray) and you can even pick which part of the fish you want), and then pay before you can sit and enjoy your meal. Don't worry about drinks, once you sit down then someone will come and take your drink orders.

[caption id="attachment_2019" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Choosing your fish"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_2020" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Choice of chickens"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_2004" align="alignleft" width="240" caption="Ikan Pari Bakar with rice and sauces"][/caption]

The 'ikan bakar' comes with rice, tom yam soup and chilli, costing you around RM7+ inclusive of one drink. I have tasted better tom yam soup before but Fend's soup isn't too bad but the chilli is damn spicy so for those of you with a weak stomach, don't say I didn't warn you.

Aside from fish, there's also chicken available but I haven't ordered that before, though some online reviews said it was quite good. There's also a small stall selling 'sup tulang' (a meaty soup) and mee hoon soup, but the appeal of coming to Restoran Ikan Bakar Fend is the 'ikan bakar' so give that a try before you taste anything else.

[caption id="attachment_2010" align="alignright" width="243" caption="Chi Kong Mangga"][/caption]

There's also quite a few tasty desserts and drinks to try aside from the heavy meals. My friend ordered something called Chi Kong Mangga (about RM3), which is some sort of jelly with mango and a few other fruits. It's really delicious and cooling on a hot day, especially after eating all that spicy food.

If you want something more familiar, try their ABC. I've seen some of the other customers ordering it and I'm definitely going to try it the next time I'm there.

[caption id="attachment_2015" align="alignleft" width="162" caption="Ice Bandung"][/caption]

My favourite drink there is this tall pink drink I saw someone ordered, which I immediately asked the waiter to bring  me one. Apparently, it's an Ice-blended Bandung with a scoop of vanilla ice-cream, costing about RM2 if I remember correctly. This drink is simply lovely in my opinion.

The restaurant may not be super clean and it may not look much, and the service is not spectacular but the food is the reason to try the place at least once in your life.

Judging by the amount of customers Restoran Ikan Bakar Fend keeps getting, I have no doubt that it will be there for many years to come. Enjoy!!

As I Sit Here...7

*This was written in advance on Thurs 16/7/2009 at 2.52pm in anticipation of my no-Streamyx weekend in Ipoh.

As I sit here, at One Utama's Starbucks, waiting for my car to be all clean and fresh from the carwash, I can't help but think that Malaysians are a bunch of free-loaders. Yes, this post is going to hurt your feelings, especially to those who attempt to get something by giving nothing.

I sit at this Starbucks regularly. I have to because I have to wait for my nephew to finish his classes and it's a pain to go back and forth when I can just sit somewhere for a few hours to do my writing. Now because I sit here for hours and days, I have seen many types of people, and today, I see free-loaders...lots of them.

I have sat here for about 55 minutes now. At this very moment, there are three occupied tables around me on the raised platform and all three tables are people who are using Starbucks facilities without purchasing anything.

One table directly in front of me is a woman who has been charging her phone with Starbucks's power socket since even before I came. She did not purchase any drink or food. At the table right beside me, there are two girls who came and dropped their bags and started doing their homework, also without purchasing anything. The table diagonally from me is a man who is using his laptop (charged by Starbucks's power socket) and probably accessing Starbucks's internet connection. He too did not purchase anything.

Let's say that maybe Starbucks doesn't mind people coming in and using their electricity and Internet and occupying tables that paying customers should have a right to (the Starbucks employee came by to check our tables twice without saying a word to the freeloaders), but don't you think it's at least a little bit courteous of you to purchase something? I would never sit in a cafe and use their facilities without at least buying a cup of coffee. In a way, it's like paying for the convenience they provided us. But nooooo, these people just sit there, unashamed that they are actually free-loading off of other people's money.

True, Starbucks make a lot of money. True, Starbucks might overcharge their food and drinks. True, Starbucks might be owned by the powerful Berjaya Group. But that still doesn't give the public a right to think that they can leech off of them. If they can do it at Starbucks, don't think they won't do the same to other, less wealthy, less popular cafes and eateries that need every cent they can get to survive (I just lost one of my favourite cafes at the Curve that provides free Wi-Fi a few months ago).

Wake up, free-loaders, unless you want karma to come and whack you in the face by placing free-loaders in your path, leeching off your goodwill, money and property.

You know what's the funny thing I noticed? With the exception of me, every 'customer' on the raised platform are all free-loaders while every single table on the floor all have at least one cup of drink on their tables. I am ashamed to be sitting up here with them. :reallypissed:

As I Sit Here...6

As I sit here, at Mutiara Damansara's Burger King Drive-Thru, I had a sudden thought run through my head. If we can have a drive-thru for burgers and a drive-thru for ATM (at TTDI apparently), why can't we have a drive-thru for our groceries?

I can just imagine it now (and I actually did have a short vision right at the drive-thru). I'd pull up to the window, wait for the counter-person to stick his/her head out of the window and asks me for my order.

"Hi, can I have one Gardenia loaf, a dozen eggs and a Dorina butter please?"

"We only have Nutriplus eggs. Will that be alright?"

"Yeah, that'll be fine. Oh, could you also put in a small packet of Milo please?"

"Ok, that will be RMXX.XX. Please wait a moment while I bag your items."

Yeah, yeah, I know, kind of a long daydream for someone waiting for her burger, but think about it, I think it will be a damn convenient way to buy groceries. I mean, most of the people who goes to the supermarket already know what they need to buy, they even make a list to bring with them. Can't we just hand the list over to a drive-thru grocery and not waste all the time of searching for items and ending up buying stuff that you don't need or want? Someone should check into this possibility.

I wonder if there are other industries that can have a drive-thru. Hmmmm... ?:-)

Stranded

Have you ever been stranded somewhere, either by yourself or by other people? I have gone through some really humourous (well, it's funny now but it wasn't back then) times of being stranded. Here's one my cousin recently reminded me. She said she'll never forget this as long as she lives.

Back when I was younger, I kept hanging out at my cousin's house in Shah Alam (about 25 minutes drive from my house). Either my dad or mom would send me there and pick me up after they were done with their chores and work. So one day, my mom sent another cousin and I over to play.

As usual, just before evening, my mom came to pick us up, and here I have to relate my cousin's side of this experience.

My cousin was already settled in the back seat with all her stuff while I was still standing outside the car with my door ajar. Suddenly, my mom put her car into gear and started to slowly drive the car away. With my door still ajar, I sarcastically said, "Bye, mom" but still she drove on and the movement of the car caused the door to close lightly.

My cousin, who was in the car, could only look at my Shah Alam cousin and I through the rear window as we slowly became small specks in her view. She turned quickly to the front and said to my mom, "Auntie, isn't your daughter following us back?" To which my mom did not reply.

My poor cousin thought my mom was angry and so she kept quiet, not daring to say anything more. Just as they were reaching the highway toll, which was about 5 minutes from my Shah Alam cousin's house, my mom asked me, "Is my book there at the backseat?" When there was no answer from me, she repeated her question. That's when my cousin burst out in a panic, "She's not here!!"

It took my mom 5 minutes before she realized that her daughter was not in the car with her. When she first drove away, my Shah Alam cousin and I thought she was joking or will notice my absence just before she turned off the road. We could only stand there and stare after the car, my cousin in puzzled wonderment and me in a somewhat nonchalant anger with my hands folded across my chest. Apparently, we were still standing in the driveway when my mom sped back down the road to the house. :sweat:

For The Loss Of A Star

At 8am on Friday, 26 June 2009, I was awakened by the beep of an SMS from my brother. 'Are you going around today with one glove, black armband, face mask and black hat as tribute?', it read. I replied drowsily, 'Michael Jackson's Day ke?' (Is it Michael Jackson's Day?). And my eyes grew wide as I read the next SMS, 'No. He just died.'

A person who really knows me would know that I had admired Michael Jackson since I was a child, since he started singing solo and even throughout his many changes. I have every one of his albums, with the exception of the 25th Anniversary album, and even had my dad buy me the movie and music video collection when it came out. I still remember when KFC in Malaysia had the Michael Jackson promotion where you can take a picture with his life-size standee. I was ecstatic, even though it wasn't really him.

At this moment, Facebook is filled with dedications and tributes to the 'King of Pop'. He has touched numerous fans with his songs, many of which are soulful and has the power to make you dance around or make you weep in tears. He was a true genius in music.

However, at the same moment as tears and tributes are shouted out, there are jeers and criticisms alongside them. As I looked through my newsfeed, most of my friends' status updates were paying homage to Michael Jackson, but some of the people commenting on their status were writing some pretty mean stuff.

As the 'King of Pop' has passed away after the Malaysian newspapers were printed and as CNN is not available for my Astro, I had to google to find out the real story. I read only the headline story of his death and immediately closed the browsers after that because even on the news website, there were already twisted articles written about him. The pop idol that many have loved was not even buried in peace yet and already the vultures have descended with their repulsive behaviours and ugly words.

I am not ashamed to admit that I loved him, that I admired him, even when he went through drastic appearances, even when he was accused of crimes ranging from molestation to breach of contract. No matter what people said about him, he undeniably changed the world of music, contributed many wonderful songs and touched souls everywhere. Just because he was famous and rich, people sought to take advantage of him, to bring him down, out of greed, out of jealousy and out of pure hatred. Yet underneath it all, he was still human, a human like any other with feelings and emotions, capable of making mistakes and wrong decisions but also capable of making a change in people's life. The people who ridiculed and condemned him without concrete proof and reason forgot that they themselves are human just like him and it is without a doubt that they will face the same ridicule and condemnation that they inflicted on him, God will see to that.

As I am writing this post, I am forced to disable comments for it as I have seen the ugly side of people who are not able to hold their tongues and their fingers from saying and writing discriminatory and uncalled remarks on the passing of Michael Jackson. Who cares about which religion he is in? Who cares what he was accused of doing? Who cares whether he abused drugs? We have lost a great figure in music and all these people could think about is 'what more bad things can I say about this man'. It is often times like this when we will see the blackness of a person's soul and heart. May God save your pitiful self.

It is a sad day for his fans, friends and family, and even the sky in Malaysia mourns his death as it rains throughout the day, as though the tears of his many loved ones fall from the heavens.

To the late and great Michael Jackson (from 1958 to 2009), at the age of 50, you left this chaotic world to finally rest in peace, away from prying eyes and condemning mouths. Your life was not in vain for you have touched many with the music of your creation, with your wish to 'heal the world'. Your music and your memory will still live on in the hearts of your loyal fans, your true friends and your beloved family. We have loved and will still love you always and forever. Rest in peace.

[caption id="attachment_1898" align="aligncenter" width="296" caption="Commemorative picture with a life-size standee of Michael Jackson. May you rest in peace. God bless."][/caption]

Food Review: Takoyaki

I :heart: Japanese food and one of my ultimate favourites is okonomiyaki (a sort of pizza). Wikipedia described it as "a Japanese savoury pancake containing a variety of ingredients. The name is derived from the word okonomi, meaning 'what you like' or 'what you want', and yaki meaning 'grilled' or 'cooked'." The first time I had the chance to eat it was at Sakae Sushi, but they took it out of their menu a while back. So imagine my happiness when I saw that this new Japanese shop at 1 Utama's new wing is selling it.

[caption id="attachment_1854" align="alignleft" width="270" caption="Takoyaki"][/caption]

Simply named Takoyaki, it's located at LG311F of the new wing (right beside New York New York Deli and opposite Cold Storage). Their menu consists purely of Takoyaki and Okonomiyaki, which in my opinion, taste pretty good.

The Takoyaki is a sort of ball-shaped fried batter and, according to Wikipedia, it's made with 'tempura scraps, pickled ginger and green onion, topped with okonomiyaki sauce, green laver, mayonnaise and fish shavings'. It's usually filled with baby octopus but in Malaysia, however, we seemed to have innovated the takoyaki by filling with it other ingredients.

[caption id="attachment_1859" align="alignright" width="240" caption="Takoyaki (fried octopus in batter)"][/caption]

For Takoyaki's takoyaki, you are offered a choice between the traditional baby octopus, prawn, or sausage and cheese, which costs RM4.00 for 3 balls, or tako (octopus) or unagi (eel), which costs RM4.50 for 3 balls. Served in a boat-like paper packaging, you can either eat it there or have it packed for take-away.

You have to eat it while it's still hot so that the warm filling almost melts in your mouth along with the delicious topping. Once it gets cold, the taste is not as good. However, my cousin said that the takoyaki sold in Jusco's food centre, opposite the supermarket, is better but to each his/her own. :-) By the way, the exterior looks exactly the same so be sure to ask the cook which one has which filling or else try it and find out.

[caption id="attachment_1873" align="aligncenter" width="240" caption="Cook making okonomiyaki at Takoyaki"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1864" align="alignleft" width="240" caption="Okonomiyaki (sausage & cheese)"][/caption]

The Okonomiyaki tastes about the same as the takoyaki and is available with the toppings of baby octopus, prawn, sausage and cheese, unagi and seafood, all at the cost of RM8.00 each. According to the cook, the seafood okonomiyaki consists of prawns and baby octopus toppings but since I only had one slice of it, I can't confirm it. It's easier to differentiate the okonomiyaki because you can see the topping through the lines of mayonnaise and tempura flakes. It is also served in a paper box packaging for easy eating and take-away.

[caption id="attachment_1869" align="alignright" width="240" caption="Okonomiyaki (seafood)"][/caption]

One okonomiyaki will fill you up just like a regular meal but for some people, the taste of the okonomiyaki sauce and the mayonnaise might make you 'muak' (fed up) so it's best for first-timers to share it with someone.

Of course, being an eatery, there's bound to be drinks and I'm happy that Takoyaki offers bubble tea in their beverage menu. Ever since 1 Utama's Yippee Cup closed down, I had nowhere else to buy decent bubble tea in the shopping mall.

[caption id="attachment_1879" align="alignleft" width="144" caption="Peach Milk Bubble Tea"][/caption]

I love peach so I ordered a plain, 'bubble-less' peach milk tea while my cousin had the bubble milk tea with the same flavour, which are both RM4.00 each. The choice of flavours is tremendous so don't be surprised if it takes you a while to decide which flavour you want.

As if choosing the flavour wasn't hard enough, then you have to choose the drink type. There's flavoured tea (green tea or red tea), milk tea, snow shake, snow blended and ice blended. I haven't had the chance to try the snow shake and snow blended so I'm not sure exactly how it looks or tastes like.

[caption id="attachment_1882" align="aligncenter" width="240" caption="Beverage choices at Takoyaki"][/caption]

There are so few people manning the small shop (about 2 employees) so you might have to wait for your food because as far as I can see, only one person cooks and makes the drink. If there are more than 2 employees, then it might be a little faster. If the batter is already prepared, it shouldn't take the takoyaki long to cook, maybe around 5 minutes, but if the batter isn't ready then be patient because it will take about 10 minutes. The okonomiyaki, though, will take a while because it has to be cooked in a pan on the stove.

It may not be a swell place to have a proper meal or a date but it's fun to sit and chill while watching your food being made right in front of you. Enjoy!!

As I Sit Here...5

As I sit here, back again in One Utama's Starbucks, a big group of foreigners walked up onto the mini-platform where I and a few others were currently sitting at our respective tables. Imagine my surprise (and annoyance) when one of the kids sat as nonchalantly as you can be into the seat right opposite me at my table.

Now, I don't know how other cultures are but in Malaysia, you don't simply plunk yourself down at a table which is currently occupied, even if there's an empty seat and even if there's only one person there. You ask permission if you could sit there or if you could take the empty chair. You do not just sit as though it's your house, it's a breach of 'comfort zone'.

What's 'comfort zone'? Let me explain. Everyone has a personal space which they would feel uncomfortable if someone comes too close. It's like how annoyed you feel when you're lining up and the person behind you keeps standing too close to you. It's like how weird you feel when a total stranger walks side by side with you. My comfort zone is extremely large when I'm out alone and when I'm sitting down in a cafe or restaurant, my comfort zone spans the entire table that I am at, regardless of its size. So yes, you are breaching my comfort zone if you're a stranger and you sit unwanted and uninvited at my table. Shoo!!

People might find my need for personal space unfriendly and rude but that is how it is. Would you like it if you ordered a meal and I invade your table by taking some of your food without asking and without being offered any? Would you like it if I breath down your neck while lining up to buy movie tickets? Would you like it if I keep jumping and dancing into you at a concert? Would you like it if I stretch my hands out into your face in the cinema? Yes, now you understand the need for personal space and the importance of 'comfort zone'.

You know what I'm most disappointed in regarding this matter? The parents are right there, not four feet away, and they didn't say a single thing to their 'space-breaching' son. :reallypissed: