Moving Along

I have moved on. Enough said. So goodbye to you, and may I say good riddance to the coward.

Vengence

The lengths people go through to satisfy their thirst for revenge are limitless. Sometimes I wonder what this world is going to be like in the future with people like this in it.

You are not satisfied until you bring the person you target as low as you can, crumbling them to pieces that may never be properly fixed again. You laugh as they weep, you celebrate as they struggle, you go happily about your life as they attempt to crawl back up. Well, you seem to have forgotten something.

You think you're so mighty, playing games with people's heart and mind; you are not. You think you're satisfied with your vengence; you'll never be satisfied. You think that your target can't harm you in return; they will, but it won't be your target that will do something to you. It will be God.

You know who you are. Though you're trying to take your target down in whatever way possible, keep in mind that one day the same thing you did to your target could happen to you. It's karma. It's the way of the world.

I only have one thing to say to you; you're a coward. If you want to harm your target so badly, then do it to their face. You got something to say, then say it to their face. Hurting someone behind their back only confirms what type of person you really are. So either stop your wretched vengeful way or gather enough courage to face your target head on.

I pity you. Not the victim but the one causing the pain. I wonder how you can live with yourself.

Talking Mouths

After looking into things a little bit, I found out something interesting. Some people have been taking information on me, and what they could find from my Friendster, and have been handing these information down until they reached RM's ears. And I found out even further that these 'talking mouths' are actually on my Friendster list!!

One word of advice to you: shut up!! I have never, and I won't, hide the fact that I hate RM for everything he has done to me and my friends. And I hate the fact that you and your neverending-need for gossip actually gave this guy ammunition to be used against me. And to think that I actually considered you a friend!!

Karma goes in a circle. I don't have to look for you, I don't even have to talk to you or confront you. All I have to do is wait for fate to do its job. Karma found RM, you think it won't find you? Think about it the next time you feel like 'talking'.

Karma

After years, karma has finally reached you.

After all your abuse, you finally had a taste of your own actions.

After causing such pain, suffering finally found you.

After talking so big, your empty words finally brought you down.

After 5 long years, I finally have you and your abuse and threats off my back.

RM, I feel pity for you yet at the same time, I honestly feel that you deserve your dued karma.

To my ex-KDU and Murdoch friends, let us pray and hope that 'he' will be a better man after this. To those of you who have been through the same thing as me, and who knows what went on, you know who I'm referring to.

Back On Track

As usual, just when you think life is shitty, things start to look bright and you start to believe in hope again. The thing is, once everything is back on track, you tend to forget the shitty parts ever happened. Me, I want to take this chance to just kick back and enjoy whatever good things that are happening now.

Telling Lies & Spreading Rumours

Somebody is spreading lies and rumours. Somebody is trying to cause trouble. Somebody is wanting to re-create the chaos we at KDU and Murdoch have faced.

Why it is that whenever there is a calm spell and everyone is happily going about their life, this certain somebody will rise up (let's not put a gender and call this person 'it') its ugly little head and cause a stir? It seems that this person can't keep still and is at its happiest when it can cause trouble. Even when there is nothing going on, nothing said, it will make up lies and rumours just to create havoc.

I wonder if it realises that one day, people will find out who it is. It doesn't seem scared of the world, maybe 'coz it thinks it can get away with it. The thing is it shouldn't be scared of the world and the people in it when they find out who is causing all these troubles. The most we can do to you is torture you and kill you. But...but have you forgotten about after this world? About God? What we mere mortals can do to you is nothing compared to what God has in store for you, for all your 'deeds', for all the trouble you have caused to people's life.

Are you unhappy, I wonder? Is that why you want to make other people unhappy? Or do you want, crave, attention? Do you want the spotlight to shine on you non-stop, even if you have to create lies and hurt people? You know who you are. We know who you are, the troublemaker, the rumour-spreader, the liar.

There is a saying that when someone causes you harm, causes you pain, you can wish for something to happen to that hurtful person. I don't have to do that. I don't have to wish for something bad to happen to you. One, because I won't stoop to your lower-than-low level and two, I know that you will get what you deserve, either in this lifetime or at Judgement Day. It's karma. Let's hope that with your 'considerable' age (seeing as you're not a child anymore), you will wisen up.

Somehow, I highly doubt that but then again, miracles have been known to happen.

My Old Diary

I actually unearthed my old diary. Well, actually, my first diary, dated back since end of 1995. I know I have an even older diary but I think that was more on my primary days.

Reading back my entries brought up alot of memories that I've been suppressing. It... enlightened me, in a way that I found out alot of stuff I've been wondering about. It answered alot of questions too yet at the same time, it made me dive even further into my mind and my current situation. I'm not sure, at this moment in time, how well I'm handling the situation.

Only one thing I know for sure; I'm re-starting to write in my diary, which was left untouched since my 20th birthday, 4 years ago. We'll see how life goes for me and we'll see how my future self will react to her earlier recordings of life.

Change of Gender

No, I am not having a sex change if that's what you guys are thinking. I just had a somewhat life-changing information given to me. You know how some fishes have no gender and some fishes can change genders? Well, apparently, cats can change gender too. I'm serious.

I went to Australia for a holiday and left my cats in the care of my vet. When I came back, my vet handed me Pablo, the adult cat, and then said, 'Oh, yeah, your other cat, Ayu, is a male.'

I just went like, 'Huh?! Really??!!' What is it with me and male cats? I was sooooo happy when I first got Ayu from my cousins, coz she's really pretty and I was so happy to finally get a female cat. And she turns out to be a 'he'. Sigh, I wonder, if I didn't send Ayu to be castrated, how long would it have taken me to find out his actual gender?

So now Ayu is called Ayun. Yeah, yeah, weird name. My mom was the one who renamed him. Sigh, sometimes when I look at Ayun, I just feel so frustrated. I mean, he acts like a girl, he sounds like a girl, he even looks like a girl. Now I got 2 male cats. No wonder Pablo hated him so much when Ayun first came into the house. He must have known that Ayun was male, and was probably thinking, 'Why the heck is my owner bringing another male into the house?'

I want a female cat. Wahhh!!!!!

The brown tabby is Pablo, my first cat, and the white one is the gender-changing Ayun.

Another Year Older

It's my birthday today and I have turned another year older. It's funny but I don't feel like I've matured at all. I still feel and act like a kid, which I know bugs some people 'coz they think I don't know anything about the world.

Anyway, let's not get into any bad stuff. It's my birthday and I want it to be a happy day. First of all, I like to thank everyone who remembered my birthday and wished me. I was actually very surprised to receive so many SMSes, especially from those I haven't heard in a while. It's nice to know that although you haven't met someone for a long time, they still remember you. Thank you very much.

I finally got a digital camera of my own. I used to share one with my sibling but the camera is long gone now, hidden somewhere I can't find. So I had to use this old camera my dad gave me for my birthday a loooong time ago, but I love it dearly. My friend told me that I was still in prehistoric era 'coz I'm still using a film camera. Well, now I can actually join them in the modern era with my new Sony digital camera. Yeahhhh!!!! I got some other neat stuff too and I love them all.

Truth be told, I really didn't expect to have lived this long 'coz I remember how I was back when I was younger. I guess you need to take life a step at a time and stop to take a deep breath whenever you come across something you can't really handle. I really like to thank my dear friend who taught me alot and who has been there for me all this time, even through my crazy phase. He is truly a great friend and I am truly blessed to have him in my life.

I hope that I've actually learnt something in the past year leading to my new age. I hope to have matured somewhat and yet still retain my youthfulness in both mind and body. I hope to be well and happy as I go through life, and I hope to be strong in heart and mind. I also hope to share my years ahead with my loved ones, both family and friends, because without them, I don't think I could have lasted this long.

So, on my birthday, to all who has been there for me through thick and thin, let us have a good and long life.

CHEERS!!!

Welcome, 2006

The year 2005 has come and gone, and the birth of the new year, 2006, has arrived. I hope all of you have had a wonderful new year celebration with your loved ones. I spent my new year with my friends, who were playing mah jong, and who taught me how to play mah jong. It's addictive. Hahahah!!

For the past few new years, I did not go out to celebrate. Instead I stayed home by myself, watching TV, or playing my PS2 games or just bumming around, reading a book. So this year is abit special to me as I got to spend it with my friends. I have not been spending time with friends for the past few years ever since that incident, but I hope this new year will change that, and truth be told, I can already see the changes.

2005 has some bitter moments as well as its sweet ones for me. I lost a friend. My family found out one of the skeletons in my closet. I had mental and emotional breakdowns. Identity crisis. My dad's insistence and pressure on pushing my step-family and my family together. But 2005 is not all bad. I finally let out and laid to rest one of my biggest crush. I re-newed my friendships with my high school friends. I finally managed to go on a trip with some of my friends. I took a big step and went into a world so unknown to me. My mom and I have somewhat improved our relationship. I became the aunt to the most adorable baby in the world. I am the proud owner of the best vehicle in Malaysia (in my opinion). And these are just the ones at the top of my head.

In 2006, I hope to achieve many things, many dreams, many solutions. I hope to be braver and stronger in both heart and mind. I hope to be able to work toward my dream. I hope to settle certain complications I have been facing. But most of all, I hope to always be close to my loved ones, family and friends, and to love and be loved by them. And I hope that God will keep my family and friends healthy and safe always.

Happy New Year and may the new year bring you prosperity, health and happiness.