Sometimes...2

Sometimes, you find yourself getting so fed up with the human race and their endless emotional turmoil. There are times you find your counterparts' complaints and sensitive feelings petty and not worth a second of your time, especially when they seem to be constantly attacking you, your actions and your character. It's at times like these you feel as though you are better off alone and in certain cases, some might actually start to distance themselves from their friends, family or society in general (like a practice attempt to become a hermit :-D ).

Let's face it, friends fight, families argue, even unknown strangers can just ruin your entire day by being totally rude to you for no apparent reason. Some people are fortunate enough to not be bothered by this 'verbal diarrhea' (yes, this phrase does exist, ahaha, check it out here) or are too close to allow any quarrels to ruin their relationship. However, for others, there is a limit to how much verbal and emotional abuse they can take before they snap, either by retorting or by isolating themselves.

Yes, humans can be boring, constantly repeating their woes, their stresses. Humans can be 'so lah drama' (so true :laugh: ). Humans can be insensitive to the feelings of others, only paying attention to their need to vent to anyone, even if that unfortunate person doesn't deserve it. We can go on and on about the negativity of the human race, BUT...that is part of what we are, it is a no-refund-or-exchange package of a human. We cannot totally absolve our emotional trauma, we can only hope to squash it a little or learn to control it better. Some are able to do it better than most or are only able to do so after years of trial and error while some just simply don't bother.

I've had my fair share of being the brunt of people's verbal diarrhea; sometimes it's just them letting out some steam but more often than not, it's a 'constructive conversation' (a polite term of 'critical continuous attack' ) on my being. I wish they would just take a step back and look at themselves first before they keep pointing out my flaws. I'm not perfect but then again.....neither are you.

Attempting to see the positive side of it is not easy so I prefer thinking of a more humorous side of this particular situation, which I find much much easier to handle. :giggle: I remember this story I read in Robert Allen's '365 Pep Talks from Buddha' and I quote:-

Two monks were disputing an obscure point of the dharma. One began to get angry and, as he made his points, his voice got louder and louder. At last the other said, "I admit that your arguments are sound." Satisfied, the belligerent monk walked off. "Nothing but sound," muttered the other monk to himself.

It's true that most emotional outbursts are just sounds and it's true that any words we deem unworthy of our time or unsuitable for our 'delicate' ears are just noise, but it's more about how we handle our own drama and how we handle hearing other people's drama. I try to use humour to diffuse negative feelings whenever I'm confronted by people. 8-) Here's hoping that you have your own, and perhaps better, way of dealing it.

Sometimes...

Sometimes, you find yourself at a very low point in your life. It can be a time when nothing seems to go your way. It can be a time when you feel like the biggest failure in the world. It can be a time when you start to think, "What's the point of living?" It can be a time when you feel yourself start to crumble and unable to pick up the pieces, unable to get up again (kinda like Humpty Dumpty ;-)).

It is normal. Many people have experienced this feeling before. Some are lucky to have someone to lean on or even better, someone to help pick up the pieces, glue them back together and push them up. Others might not be as fortunate or may actually refrain from accepting or asking help from others. Everyone works in their own way, handling their life in whichever way they think is best for them. Asking for help doesn't make one weaker than others, not asking for help doesn't make one stronger than the rest either.

Anyway, when you feel this low, when you feel like a failure, you tend to forget that you have done some really great (ok, if not great, good then) things in your life. Just look around your room and I'm sure you have some mementos or keepsakes that bear good memories. Trophies and medals won during school competitions, certificates of education, acknowledgments of participation in activities, pictures of your travels, some writings you have done, heck, even small stuffed dolls won at funfairs count too. You'll be amazed at how much you have done and achieved once you lean back from your misery and take a good look around.

Sure, some would say, "But those are really small things. I didn't achieve something great like winning a nobel prize, or become a famous celebrity or a rich successful businessman." But then again, who decides what makes you successful? Who decides what makes you great? Being rich doesn't necessarily make you a great person, being famous doesn't necessarily mean happiness. It's all in your own perspective, choose your own path to what fulfills you. If you keep looking at what other people are doing, when will you have time to look at yourself and make your own success, be it richness or a close-knit family?

When I feel low (as low as a snake's belly), I like to remember this particular story I read in Robert Allen's '365 Smiles from Buddha' and I quote:-

A certain king called together his wise men and commanded them to have a magic ring made for him. It should cheer him up when he was unhappy, but when things were going well, it should stop him from getting proud and overbearing. They went away and puzzled over the problem for a long time. At last someone had a bright idea. A gold ring was brought to the king and on it were engraved the words, "This too shall pass."

Those four words help me alot whenever I'm down (I tend to focus on the negative, not so much on the positive unfortunately :laugh: and that phrase is kind of like my mantra).

And so, I would look around my room, note the accomplishments I have done so far and I find that life doesn't seem so bleak after all. I find that I'm not such a failure after all and that I am still capable of success, in my own way, in my own terms. Thus, the phrase above comes to mind and I know that this feeling of inadequacy will pass. :victory: Here's hoping that your sadness will pass too.

Don't Talk To Me...

I have said this many, many, MANY times both verbally and in written words; there is always a reason for the things I do.

For example, if I don't wish to communicate with a certain person, it could be because he/she may have offended me in some way or he/she has hurt one of my family members. If I refuse to visit a certain place, it could be because I have had a bad experience or service there. If I do not comment or contribute to a conversation, it could be because I do not wish to hurt anyone's feelings or risk being misinterpreted. There is always a reason behind my actions.

So, when I say "Do not talk to me about issues on race, religion and politics", there is a reason behind it.

I despise talking about racial, religion and political topics because I have seen with my own eyes, I have heard with my own ears, how these issues can break a friendship, shatter a relationship, separate family members. A husband and wife can argue and sleep in separate rooms during a political election because each supports different parties. Two friends can start arguing and debating over religion and stop talking to each other because they both have their own interpretations and beliefs. A nation can be divided into groups all up in arms and accusing each other because of racial tension, each believing the other is wrong.

I find it sad.

There's only a handful of people who I can talk these three issues with and they are my brother, my cousin (Syahrir) and my friend (Kuek). Although we all have contrasting beliefs, we are mature enough to understand that we each see things differently and yet not take that to offense, and most importantly, we know when to stop talking about it if someone is feeling slightly hot under the collar.

I would love to be as diplomatic as possible. I would love to not accuse anyone without proper proof. I would love not to pass judgment on a race, a religion, a politician. I would love not to say anything that might hurt or offend the other party. Yet, I find that regardless what I say or not say, it is never good enough. If I speak my mind and say something, it's wrong. If I do not wish to comment and don't say anything, it's wrong as well. So what do you want from me?

Another thing that frustrates me alot about these types of conversation is how I always get the short end of the stick. How come you can say whatever you want, how come you can speak your mind, but I can't? How come you can say 'I don't appreciate the comment you made' and when I retaliate by saying 'I don't appreciate the comment you made either', you get all defensive? If you don't want to listen or acknowledge other people's perspective then don't bring up the issue, simple as that. I am not the enemy so there's no point in you getting all riled up at me when all I am doing is listening to you talk about something I do not wish, never wish, to delve in and contributing to the conversation based on my own opinions.

Also, in these types of conversations, you'll be amazed at the assumption people can make about you. Just because I am of a certain race and of a certain religion in a certain country, people can actually tell me that I don't 'see' what the other races and the other religions see because my race and my religion are getting the cream of the crop. So, am I justified in saying that because you are not of a certain race and you are not of a certain religion, you don't 'see' what I see? If it can go one way, it can go the other way too.

After living all these years and hearing so many things, I have learnt not to jump to the first conclusion I arrive to. That is why some people would notice that I often say, "Maybe it's not that reason", "Mayhaps it's not what you think it is", "Perhaps it's another group causing trouble but pinning the blame on another group", "Perhaps it's better to say it in a different way." Ever thought of that? Maybe not, I guess.

Don't, please don't, assume that you know how I think, know what I see, know what I hear, know what I say, when in fact, you don't know me at all. Just because I don't say certain things or don't agree with you or don't say things you want to hear, it doesn't mean I am incapable of putting myself in other people's shoes. It doesn't mean that you're right or you're wrong. It just means that we have different opinions, different perspectives, different beliefs, because we are two different people and we each should respect the fact that we have our own views. Let's just say we agree to disagree and be done with it.

This is why I love to write. It is only here, in my post, that I am able to say what I really want to say because this is my post, my blog. Some people love to talk about these three issues. They love to point out that they're right. They love to argue non-stop and vehemently debate the other party into silence, especially about race and religion. And this is what I think (and I have mentioned this before in Silence of War): Regardless what race, religion, political party or nationality you are, '...strip off your skin, your colour, your beliefs, your brain, and you are all the same. You all have two hands, two feet, two eyes, one nose, one mouth. You all feel pain, sorrow, happiness. You all cry and laugh.' To add to that, in my humbly low opinion, at the end of the day, all these differences, all these endless racial, religion and political fighting, all these 'you're wrong, I'm right' judgments won't matter once I'm dead and buried. Because then, only God can pass judgment.

It's The New Year, People

Here it is again, the last day of yet another year when people around the world gather to countdown the hours, minutes, seconds to a new year. This is also the time when people start to make resolutions and plans for the upcoming year, when people think back to the events, occasions and incidents of the past 12 months and moan or rejoice at their individual happenings. It is a sad yet joyous time; sad because another year has gone and joyous because a whole new chapter is starting.

What was 2009 for me? Hmmm, well, at the top of my head, I can only pull out one thought; this year saw the longest time I've ever been single ever since I started dating. Hahahah, yes, I know that's a weird thing to say but I finally got a whole lot of time just for myself, without worrying about a boyfriend and the problems that are attached to having one. And my conclusion? I'm enjoying it very much and frankly, I am much happier being single than when I was in a relationship. It just goes to prove that I am independent and able to stand on my own two feet without a man. ;-)

Anyway, 2009 was pretty much quite calm for me personally, aside from a break-up, a public love confession on my Facebook from a salesman and some minor drama here and there, but it was somewhat of a hell for some of the people close to me. Two of my best girls have had their hearts broken, one fortunately has resolved the matter while one is still being tortured almost on a daily basis by a stupid guy. I hope that the new year will be much better in terms of relationship for her. :kissing:

But it wasn't all bad for love in 2009. Many of my friends got married and another one of my best girls was proposed underwater, sooooo romantic!! :heart:

Although some people may think of me as wasting my time and life this past year, I really do think that I am much happier and calmer than I've been in a long time and to me, that's all that matters. My family has my back and if my mom, dad and brother are not complaining about what I'm doing then other people's opinions do not matter with me. And besides, I'm not borrowing any money from people to live (I have my own) so why should they care? :talktothehand:

But I think my biggest break-through for this year was the whole change of appearance. Gone is the long hair that has been hounding me since I started school, hello to a new short, and my cousins said sexy, haircut. Ever since I cut my hair, it's like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I'm more carefree, happy and light. :-)) Also I noticed I have more energy since I maintained my jogging routine and even managed to increase the number of rounds that I jog. I feel better these past few months and hope to maintain it in the next year.

Of course, with every year, there are windows of opportunities opening and also opportunities missed. My brother and I almost bought over a business, and although it was sad to let the chance go willingly, I guess after thinking about it intensely, that opportunity just wasn't for us.

What's in store for 2010? Well, looking at my calendar now, there are alot of weddings to attend as my best girls are getting married!!! :party: And I foresee pregnancies and babies next year too ;-). For me, I'll be traveling alot, one agenda on my list is the climb up Mt. Kinabalu. I don't care how long it takes, I'm going to climb all the way to the top!! :shout: Also, hopefully, the planned trip to Redang is on because I miss the island so much. Other than that, we'll see how the year goes. I'm back to my 'go with the flow' motto. :giggle:

So, with the new year, there's usually a New Year's resolution, right? Well, the past two years, my resolution was to take as many pictures as possible, which I have done, but this new year, I need to better myself in some way so I figured out what bugged me the most this year, which was doing favours for unappreciative people. So my New Year's resolution for 2010 is to try and stop doing favours for people who don't appreciate them or appreciate me. Trust me, there have been alot of it going on in 2009 and I've got to nip it in the butt. :reallypissed:

I hope everyone will have a safe and happy New Year celebration. Do not look back to the past but focus on the future that is coming your way. We all have alot more living to do so let's get to it!! :victory:

Happy New Year!!!

As I Sit Here...9

As I sit here, reading Sally Anne Morris’s ‘Trick or Treat’, I find myself noticing the last sentence in this paragraph; “Lucy nodded back self-consciously, aware of her puffy eyes and swollen nose. She was not a good-looking crier.” :weep:

I have come across that particular or similar line a few times in my fiction-reading history and it makes me wonder, (1) Should we be crying nicely? (2) Can we cry and maintain our immaculate face and make-up?

I mean, you cry when you’re sad, right? (Well, most of the time, I don’t count the times you cry from laughing so hard). So when you’re sad and you’re crying, won’t tears flow down your eyes? And don’t your nose and cheeks start to turn pink? Also, don’t your face kind of scrunch up from all that sorrow, anguish, pain, whatnot? When all that is happening, can you actually maintain that perfect facial expression? :struggle:

I've seen myself cry before and trust me, it's not a pretty sight, hahaha! Why on Earth would I want to cry prettily anyway? Maybe it would look good on my resume, "Can cry prettily." I should get hired pretty fast, huh? ;-)

The Dealt Hand

Sometimes life deals you a hand where you have no idea which action to take. Should you fold and live to gamble another day or should you take the risk and play the round, hoping that you won't lose much or at all?

There are times when the hand you are dealt with looks good but not good enough for you to know for sure that you're going to win. You can decide to play it out and hope to chance, luck, God, whoever, whichever, that you would win the round. But if your confidence is kind of shaky, then maybe it's better for you to fold and hold out until you are dealt with a hand that you are much more comfortable with.

Then again, some people would say that it's not the dealt hand that determines the win or lose, it's the person holding the hand. Even though it's a losing hand, someone who knows how to handle it would make the most of whatever was given, or even better, someone who is clever would be able to turn the losing hand into a winning one.

So which one am I?

In my younger years, I usually play with whatever hand I was dealt with. No matter how bad or good it looked, my motto was always, "Go with the flow." I mean, there's got to be a reason why God dealt me this hand, right? Why not just play the round on the off chance that something good might come out of it. True, I didn't come out all clean and scrape-free from some of the dealt hands but hey, I survived, didn't I?

But now, as I approach my older years, I find myself cautious to the point of being suspicious. The hand that I am dealt with looks good, but then again, does it look good because I want it to look good? Is it good enough? Can I play this hand and come off unscathed if it were to betray me in the end? Or is my expertise too low to be able to handle it properly?

It is at that point of thinking that I start to back off because it is safer to not play than to play and risk my soul, my heart, my mind, my money, whatever, whichever. True, I might miss out on the winning of a lifetime or something semi-good, but perhaps I find myself too old to gamble anymore. When I was young, it didn't seem that I would lose much should I choose to gamble; the healing process was quite quick for me to get back on my feet and play again in no time at all. But with time and death knocking on my door, constantly reminding me of their presence, I find it hard to just go with the flow anymore.

C.S. Lewis was quoted, "You play the hand you're dealt. I think the game's worthwhile." Here's my thinking: I don't think I can afford to play games, in life, in relationships, anymore.

As I Sit Here...8

As I sit here, reading the newspaper (a very rare occurrence), I noticed something slightly disturbing. I have started to take note of the names of accident victims.

I don't think anyone, including me, would ever like to find out that someone you know has died in an accident (or worse, murdered!) in the papers. I still remember the few times I've seen names I recognized in the papers and trust me, it's not a good feeling. Chills crept up from my toes to my head as I realized exactly what I was reading and I had to keep the fact that "No, it's not a story" constantly through my mind.

Perhaps that is among one of the many reasons why I don't really like reading the newspapers. Everyday, without fail, there is always rape, murder, killings, corruption, etc. slotted in with all the happy news of weddings, births, election winnings, etc. It's like having my emotions put through the wringer, going "Awwww!!" at the latest pet story or smiling at a new scientific discovery only to flip to the next page and frown in disbelief at the new drugs hitting the younger generation or swearing angrily at some injustice done to someone. Sigh, it's only 10am in the morning and I'm already emotionally tired. :-((

Yeah, yeah, this is reality. This is the real world, get with it, girl, but still.....don't you wish there was one day, just one single day, when nobody is being hurt or abused in any way? Just a thought.

As I Sit Here...7

*This was written in advance on Thurs 16/7/2009 at 2.52pm in anticipation of my no-Streamyx weekend in Ipoh.

As I sit here, at One Utama's Starbucks, waiting for my car to be all clean and fresh from the carwash, I can't help but think that Malaysians are a bunch of free-loaders. Yes, this post is going to hurt your feelings, especially to those who attempt to get something by giving nothing.

I sit at this Starbucks regularly. I have to because I have to wait for my nephew to finish his classes and it's a pain to go back and forth when I can just sit somewhere for a few hours to do my writing. Now because I sit here for hours and days, I have seen many types of people, and today, I see free-loaders...lots of them.

I have sat here for about 55 minutes now. At this very moment, there are three occupied tables around me on the raised platform and all three tables are people who are using Starbucks facilities without purchasing anything.

One table directly in front of me is a woman who has been charging her phone with Starbucks's power socket since even before I came. She did not purchase any drink or food. At the table right beside me, there are two girls who came and dropped their bags and started doing their homework, also without purchasing anything. The table diagonally from me is a man who is using his laptop (charged by Starbucks's power socket) and probably accessing Starbucks's internet connection. He too did not purchase anything.

Let's say that maybe Starbucks doesn't mind people coming in and using their electricity and Internet and occupying tables that paying customers should have a right to (the Starbucks employee came by to check our tables twice without saying a word to the freeloaders), but don't you think it's at least a little bit courteous of you to purchase something? I would never sit in a cafe and use their facilities without at least buying a cup of coffee. In a way, it's like paying for the convenience they provided us. But nooooo, these people just sit there, unashamed that they are actually free-loading off of other people's money.

True, Starbucks make a lot of money. True, Starbucks might overcharge their food and drinks. True, Starbucks might be owned by the powerful Berjaya Group. But that still doesn't give the public a right to think that they can leech off of them. If they can do it at Starbucks, don't think they won't do the same to other, less wealthy, less popular cafes and eateries that need every cent they can get to survive (I just lost one of my favourite cafes at the Curve that provides free Wi-Fi a few months ago).

Wake up, free-loaders, unless you want karma to come and whack you in the face by placing free-loaders in your path, leeching off your goodwill, money and property.

You know what's the funny thing I noticed? With the exception of me, every 'customer' on the raised platform are all free-loaders while every single table on the floor all have at least one cup of drink on their tables. I am ashamed to be sitting up here with them. :reallypissed:

As I Sit Here...5

As I sit here, back again in One Utama's Starbucks, a big group of foreigners walked up onto the mini-platform where I and a few others were currently sitting at our respective tables. Imagine my surprise (and annoyance) when one of the kids sat as nonchalantly as you can be into the seat right opposite me at my table.

Now, I don't know how other cultures are but in Malaysia, you don't simply plunk yourself down at a table which is currently occupied, even if there's an empty seat and even if there's only one person there. You ask permission if you could sit there or if you could take the empty chair. You do not just sit as though it's your house, it's a breach of 'comfort zone'.

What's 'comfort zone'? Let me explain. Everyone has a personal space which they would feel uncomfortable if someone comes too close. It's like how annoyed you feel when you're lining up and the person behind you keeps standing too close to you. It's like how weird you feel when a total stranger walks side by side with you. My comfort zone is extremely large when I'm out alone and when I'm sitting down in a cafe or restaurant, my comfort zone spans the entire table that I am at, regardless of its size. So yes, you are breaching my comfort zone if you're a stranger and you sit unwanted and uninvited at my table. Shoo!!

People might find my need for personal space unfriendly and rude but that is how it is. Would you like it if you ordered a meal and I invade your table by taking some of your food without asking and without being offered any? Would you like it if I breath down your neck while lining up to buy movie tickets? Would you like it if I keep jumping and dancing into you at a concert? Would you like it if I stretch my hands out into your face in the cinema? Yes, now you understand the need for personal space and the importance of 'comfort zone'.

You know what I'm most disappointed in regarding this matter? The parents are right there, not four feet away, and they didn't say a single thing to their 'space-breaching' son. :reallypissed:

As I Sit Here...4

As I sit here, outside Mid Valley's Kim Gary restaurant, I couldn't help but stare at each of my friends. I haven't seen them in a while so having the chance to hang out with them again was great fun.

It's hard to believe that more than 10 years have passed since we graduated from high school because we still act the same; our behaviours, our automatic ability to be at ease with each other even though we haven't seen each other in such a long time. Of course, there are some changes in each of us but our conversation is still filled with laughter and merriment just like before.

I'm sure that some of you are aware that in every group of friends, there are different categories of people, like the joker, the storyteller, the laugher, the beauty, the listener and the academic, to name a few. As the hours pass by, it became obvious to me who is which among my friends.

Filled with stories, which some of us don't even remember, is Keiko, whom I noticed is the main talker whenever the group is together. She is the one who keeps us entertained with numerous stories and keeps us up-to-date with the latest gossips. Michelle is, without a doubt, the laugher whose laughter is loud and contagious and has been since our high school days. She is the other story-teller when Keiko runs out of topics. Djoanna is the quiet one, usually listening to the conversation yet contributing unexpected quips and lines every so often. Keeping the laughter going with her vivid imagination is Dyna, who comes up with some of the weirdest and comedic story lines. As for me, my role in the group changes with the situation but I'm usually the observer and in school, I was the reader who always had a book at all times.

We were missing two more members from our usual group in high school, though. From what I remember of Mel back in school, she is usually the clever one with somewhat of a dry humour and wit. Ena is the sarcastic one with a sharp tongue that is funny to us but might seem hurtful to some.

I'm not trying to brand people or place them in a certain category or anything, it's simply the way we are. It's like that quiz I keep seeing in Facebook recently, 'In your circle of friends, what label are you?'. We could be totally different when we hang out with other friends but when we gather together, this is what I observe and I wouldn't want them to change in any way. :-)) I'm sure after this post, you will start to notice the 'label' and 'roles' of your own friends.

It's sometimes a shame how fast time goes by and how little time we have to meet up with one another. And so, I hope that we can still have fun together even as we grow older, even though we are married with kids, and even though we are busy with work. Here's to more fun and enjoyable outings!! Cheers!! 8-)

When The Night Comes

I awoke with a start, the primal instinct taking over as the first thought that urged my body to move was 'RUN!' And I ran, all the way to my mom's room, hammering away at the door, which she had locked.

Before anyone starts thinking that I'm a mommy's girl, let me de-mist the situation.

A few nights ago, when I had finally drifted off to sleep at 2 a.m., I was jostled out of my slumber by a very loud, very long thunder. Mingled in with my instinct to run was my rational (or irrational, whichever you may please) thought saying, "The end of the world is here. The monster has awaken from the land." (For those who don't understand, ask a Muslim about the monster that is supposed to emerge when the end of the world is nigh). In all my life, I have never heard a thunder that sounds so much like a monster roaring at the heavens, and I have been through some of the worst rainstorms to hit my area.

I couldn't sleep for an hour after that. I had to psychically and mentally calm my body down, which was unfortunately still on edge at every single sound, the muscles twitching in preparation for leap. I woke up a few hours later, exhausted and tensed. It was not a good feeling. :-((

It makes me wonder whether anyone else has a problem like mine. My house used to be extremely sensitive to thunder and lightning so the slightest thunder vibration will automatically shut the whole house's electrical system, engulfing us in darkness. Ever since I saw a ghost in my room at the age of 14, I wasn't able to sleep without a light on after that and so, somewhat as per Pavlov's classical conditioning, whenever there's rain at night, I will wake up scared. Why? Because rain = thunder = electricity off = darkness = something I don't want to see!!!

Yeah, yeah, call me a baby. :razzmad: But can I help it if it's been imprinted in me? I'm only fine if someone is sleeping with me but since I'm not married and I don't have any siblings staying with me, I have to make do by kidnapping my cat to sleep with me on my bed. Which he doesn't mind, by the way, since he's scared of thunder as well. :-D

Does Anyone Still Want To Use Taxis?

Yesterday, as I was slurping up some Wan Tan Mee for brunch, I read what may have been one of the worst suggestions ever made regarding our 'dear' Malaysian taxis. As I'm sure most Malaysians, and a few unlucky tourists, know, we've been having problems with our local taxi drivers, what with the lack of using the meters, refusal to send passengers to certain areas, and of course, marking up the fare. :x

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="262" caption="Malaysian Taxi (from Getty Images)"][/caption]

So, in The Star paper yesterday (Wednesday, 1st April 2009), a short article by Lester Kong was highlighting these rogue taxi drivers. The Road Transport Department, better known as JPJ, was going to "send show-cause letters to 612 taxi drivers", demanding them to respond within three weeks in regards to their "offenses of not using meters, overcharging, not displaying their driver cards and refusing to pick up passengers." Would you believe that a JPJ operation showed that only 15 out of 627 drivers followed these regulations? It definitely explains the mistrust we have towards Malaysian taxi drivers in general.

Anyway, the article continued on with some suggestions on curbing this irresponsible and unprofessional behaviour, and here is the suggestion that I mentioned earlier. "Taxi drivers and associations have suggested to the Government to increase the starting meter fare from RM2 to RM4 if they want taxi drivers to behave."

What the hell??!!

Do you know what that sounds like? It's like asking the public to pay the taxi drivers so that they would behave. It's like, "Hey, I'll give you two additional ringgit if you'd switch on your meter and send me here during the most jammed time." It's like what Malays often do to little children to get them to start fasting, i.e. a ringgit for each day they fast. Are they going to try and use it to the snatch-thieves as well? "Let's give all snatch-thieves RM5 so that they won't harm the public anymore."

Look, regardless how much you raise the starting meter, it would not work. What's the point of gaining an extra measly RM2 when you can gain at least RM5 to RM10 more by overcharging passengers or putting a fixed rate to go somewhere? I had one taxi driver asking me to pay him RM25 for a journey from KLCC to Lake Garden without his meter. Hello??!! I doubt the journey costs that much.

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="204" caption="Malaysian Taxi Driver (from www.daylife.com)"][/caption]

Moving on, one of the interviewed taxi drivers claimed that the starting meter rate was set 13 years ago and that it should be reviewed as prices for most other goods and services were raised parallel to the economic growth. Personally, the rate that should be increased is the rate per kilometer, not the starting meter fare. That, in my opinion, is more fair and makes much more sense what with our up-and-down petrol prices, wear-and-tear of the taxi and other factors that I won't go through here.

Look, there's always a root to every problem. Based on the articles, voiced-out opinions and forums I read, the root is so diverse and points to many directions. Some say the taxi drivers' moral values should be questioned for using such underhanded tricks. Others point the finger of blame to the taxi companies that imposed high rates for the lease and permit on the drivers, a number which they are unable to meet. Then, of course, there's the story (which I don't know is true or not so don't ask me) that the private taxi companies are owned by 'cronies of certain organizations'. A few people complain that the Government is at fault because the public is suffering by paying these 'additional rates', not the Government, thus the reason why the Government is not reacting. So, which is the root of the problem? All or them? None of them?

Whatever it is, I think it is best for the moment to avoid taking unscrupulous taxi drivers. If the taxi driver refuses to use a meter, refuse to ride with him. He'll then have to waste precious time and wait for another passenger to consider using his service. At the airport, PLEASE take the taxis that use the coupon system, not the ones that hound you as soon as you leave the arrival hall. Be safe.

How to Behave at a Wedding

I have been to my fair share of weddings over the years, weddings of relatives, friends and strangers. My most recent one is my friend's brother's wedding where I helped out as an usher. I noticed, after this latest event, most Malaysians are not aware of how to behave at weddings. Here's a list of what NOT to do when attending a wedding:-

• Let me tell you why RSVP is important. When weddings are held at halls or hotel ballrooms, the tables are limited and are often assigned to selected names. When you are invited and you RSVPed yourself and your wife, there will only be 2 of your names listed at an assigned table. If you choose to bring another guest or your children without informing the invitees, you have caused the problem of the organizers having to reshuffle the tables and names, or open another table, which will cost them more money. You also create the problem of the organizers having to shuffle the other guests at your table to be seated elsewhere simply to accommodate your selfish, thoughtless self. So (1) When a wedding requires you to RSVP, kindly do RSVP and inform the total number of attendees. Even though the invitation says 'Mr Name and Wife', if you're bringing your children, tell the invitees that they will be, what, 3, 4 of you attending. DON'T arrive at the wedding hall bringing other uninformed guests.

• Unless you are family members or the organizers, you do not have to right to decide where other guests sit. I encountered a lady who put it upon herself to redirect where people sit, even though she is not a family member or an organizer. Because of her, we faced the problem of having to reshuffle not one, but two tables of guests to other tables. So (2) If you have been assigned to a table, please sit at that table. If you wish to sit elsewhere or with friends, if there is space or lack of guests, it is fine. If not, you can mingle with your friends later.

• Another 'mistake' I've noticed is minimal but it does happen. Unless it is a dress code, guests, please DO NOT wear white. You're at someone else's wedding, not your own, so let the bride have the honour of being the only one to wear full-on white, even if she does decide to wear another colour. I encountered a lady wearing all white, and she was the only guest to do so, which set her apart from the rest and also garnered the attention which should have been on the bride. So (3) Refrain from wearing a full white outfit (it's not your wedding), or a full black outfit (it's not a funeral). If you are wearing white or black, set it off with another colour, either a scarf or jacket.

• The happy couple and their family extended their invitations to you to join them on their happy day. It is rude if you choose to leave early without giving thanks to the family. I have seen many wedding guests doing what I call the 'eat-and-run'; they come to the wedding, they eat their fill and leave without congratulating the family. So (4) If you really need to leave early (because of a meeting the next day or something), then kindly say thanks to the family before taking leave. If you don't need to leave urgently, then kindly stay until the ceremonies are over. After all, it is only polite.

These are but a few basic behavioural rules when attending a wedding, but some guests are either unaware of it or simply don't care for it. It will help relieve alot of headaches if guests could just kindly be more considerate towards the family and the other guests. Keep in mind that you would feel the same way if the guests at your wedding or your loved one's wedding behave in those inconsiderate ways.

Unique Individuals

There are many wonders in this world and I believe humans are the most wondrous being on Earth simply because everyone is a unique individual. No two people are exactly the same, even twins. However, what I think makes humans the subject of atttention is the sheer stupidity they sometimes have, even with all that brain power God has generously given.

I received this in my email the other day and it simply must be shared. Not because it's fun to laugh at people or to put these people in a bad light. I'm posting it because at one time or other, I'm sure we ALL have gone through a similar situation before, including me. Enjoy. :D

****

One day, I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted, 'Look at that dead bird!'  Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where???'

***

While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise  in the north?' When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't  keep up with that stuff.'

****

My colleague and I  were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but 'didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'.

***

I told the girl at the steakhouse register that I wanted the half  kilogram sirloin. She informed me they only had an 500g sirloin. Not wanting to make a scene, I told her I would take the 500g steak instead of the half-kilogram.

****

My sister has a  lifesaving tool in her car, it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk...

***

My friends and I  were on a Lager run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount....

****

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, 'Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?'  I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...

***

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived yet?'...

****

While working at a pizza parlour, I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4  pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.'

What I found hilarious was the sentence right at the end of the e-mail. Someone wrote: "Sadly, not only do they walk among us, they also reproduce!!!!" :lol:

The Birthday of Prophet Muhammad

"And peace on him on the day he was born, and on the day he dies, and on the day he is raised to life." - Holy Quran 19:15

Today is a time for rest, relaxation and reflection as the Muslims celebrate the birth of the last and best prophet. It's a nice rainy Monday in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, not sure how it is in the other regions of the world. I'm sure many people are out praying or holding holy ceremonies. No matter what you're doing today, be safe. :) Peace.

The BIG Issue

The other day I decided to head down to Burger King for dinner and picked up Malaysian Today, a free youth weekly newspaper, to read as I munch. The cover page totally pulled my attention away from my food as the bold red title 'A Big, Fat Issue' slammed itself into my eyes. Not only was there a 2-page article on image issues, the Chief Executive Officer, Jessie Soon, also wrote a short editorial on it.

Jessie Soon relates how she feels sad for her friend who's on the slightly weighty side and how she tries so hard to lose weight only to gain the pounds all back again. It is her personal belief that 'true friends don't really bother about how big or small' a person looks and that 'others are more inclined to like or dislike a person based on his or her personality rather than their weight'.

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="200" caption="How heavy am I?"][/caption]

While I strongly agree with Jessie Soon, I have to say that people who are immune to other people's body are a minority in our current world. Face the facts; image does matter. Other people do judge you by how you look. It sucks, yes, I know. It's stupid, yes, I agree. But then again, the current world is full of superficial image-conscious people. The 2-page article even goes as far as to quote that 'studies show that attractive people get smiled at more often, are more likely to ace a job interview, and unbelievably, are found guilty less often in court'.

The article referred to fashion trends of the past, including the plump trend during the Victorian age and the corset rage in the 19th century, and how they went away after a while. However, this 'thin is in' trend has been around for quite some time and I don't believe it will go away anytime soon, not as long as the media keep portraying skinny celebrities as idols and role models.

As I have written many times before (back in 2007), I have been through weight-consciousness and self-esteem issues to the point of becoming anorexic. I wouldn't eat, I avoid eating with people, I lied whenever someone asked me if I've eaten, all because people around me was commenting how big I was or how much weight I gained. I managed to pull myself out of anorexia, though, and developed a more sensitive attitude towards weight.

Because of my experience, I refrain from commenting on how big a person has gotten. I cannot tell how often Malaysians greet each other with "Wah, so fat already". Yes, most Malaysians are not known for their sensitivity. These are the kind of people I try my hardest to avoid because it shows that they have no tact whatsoever and that they care too much about image. Would they like it if everytime I see them I go "Wah, you so ugly now"? This is a topic that I predict will never go away so the best solution if you're weighty and you care about what people say is to avoid these shallow-minded people.

I don't understand why other countries don't really pay mind to big girls. Just the other day I was watching the gameshow 'I Survived' and the last two American male contestants had their wife & girlfriend come onto the show, and they were both 'very voluptuous women'. The men sure as hell didn't care with the dating guy proclaiming proudly to the camera that he can't wait to marry his girlfriend. So why do Malaysian men care so much about their wife's body shape? I mean, you married her because you love her, right? Because of her personality, right? Because of who she is, right? Bloody hell, no!!

Take my father, for instance. He goes on to his friends about how women gain weight after they get married, but you're the one who married your wife!! Don't tell me you never once thought that it was possible your wife would gain weight after giving birth to your children??!! I once asked my boyfriend what he would do if we ever got married and I gained weight. He said, "I'll start buying you sexy lingerie in XS size." I so wanted to whack his head. The best reply I've ever gotten was from my ex-boyfriend who said that if I gained weight, he would ask me to accompany him to go jogging to make sure that I stay healthy. Why can't more men be like this?

I have dated chubby men before and men my friends find totally unattractive, but I don't give a damn. In my eyes, they are wonderful inside and out, and I hope that I would be lucky enough to marry a man who will love me for who I am, regardless whether I look like a stick or a blimp.

Here's an advice to my fellow women who have faced insults and scorn over your body: just like Jessie Soon say, love your body and start living your life to your own expectations and beliefs instead of others. Don't let anyone, anyone at all, bring you down or make you think you are lesser than them. We are all humans, we all came from the same place, and we are all equal, regardless of our looks.

Another Year Cometh

Another year has arrived, and with it, another birthday. I don't know whether to be happy that I'm getting presents (and wishes, of course :lol: ) or be worried that I'm turning yet another year older 8O .

I'm starting to understand why some women out there are sensitive about their birthdays and their age. There are even some women who don't like to be reminded that it's their birthday. I'm thankful that I'm still in the frame of mind to be happy and excited about my coming-of-age day. But I can't help but be slightly worried when I think about my age.

I'm more than a quarter of a century old, and I am still single, still not on a stable income and.....hmmm, I guess those are the only things I'm worried about.  8)

Reading back the last time I wrote about my birthday (2 years ago in 2007), I seemed to see my birthday in a more hyper, humourous view than I do now. My blog entries in those days sounded much more angst, relaxed and fun too compared to the way I write now. Perhaps, as you age, you tend to get more serious-minded? :?:

People are now asking me what I want for my birthday, and truthfully, I have no idea what I want for my birthday. I mean, the one thing I really wanted was an iPod Nano, and I already bought myself one just a few weeks ago. There are a few things I wish for, though, but am uncertain whether it is actually possible to get those wishes answered. I'll just leave it up to God, I guess.

As I grow yet another year older, there are stuff I remember back in the past that I regret doing. Actually, no, I don't regret them because they happened for a reason and I think it's much better this way. It's more like, I'm sad that they had to happen but I'm also glad they did happen because I don't hurt as much as I did back then. I think I've regained the strength I lost a few years ago and have developed a much harder shell than the one I carried before. Many have said that I am harsher now and more prone to anger, but it's better this way because now, people take me for granted less, they take less advantage of me, simply because they don't want to deal with me anymore. 8)

People have wondered if I'm lonely because I'm losing friends. No, I'm not. I'm perfectly content with those I have in my life now. There are always reasons behind everything I do, and there are good reasons behind my actions; whether it's good for me or for others, it depends. Whatever it is, though, one thing I have learnt in the last 2 years alone is 'think of yourself first, put yourself first'. I used to think it sounded selfish, but now I know that it's actually for your own good, for your own well-being.

Okie, enough of this doom and gloom. Let's turn up the energy abit.

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="189" caption="Pisces Rules!! <http://www.astrologyweekly.com>"][/caption]

The Pisces is conquering the year at the moment!!! I always wonder why they paint us Pisces in such a dreamy, wishy-washy attitude. I mean, sometimes we're not that dreamy, we're actually quite stern and stubborn at times. :) I used to love reading the description of my astrological sign, but nowadays, I kinda laugh at them because, well, I used to be like that, but I no longer am.

Like this one at the bottom. I think most of it is right, I mean, at least it kinda describes me better than most of the ones I've read before. The most accurate one is the weirdness. Yes, incase you don't know it yet, I am totally extremely weird, in many sense of the word. :D I'm not popular though and I'm certainly not the center of attention (I try not to be in the center of attention, I get shy :oops: ). I find the 'hard to keep' part quite true as recent events has shown that I am actually quite unforgiving towards certain people and am prone to totally cut off all contacts and connections with those I no longer want to have in my life and those I see as 'poison friends', which is why I think as you get older, your friend-list gets shorter as you weed out some names. The 'always get what he/she wants'.....we~ll, that's kinda true, hehehehe!! Can I help it if I'm spoiled? :D

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="462" caption="Pisces description from http://i192.photobucket.com/"][/caption]

I love being a Pisces though. I find the sign to be quite special compared to the rest, or maybe I'm just being bias. :P Anyway, I'm not sure what to do today so I'm just going to enjoy my day of birth by hanging out with some close friends. To all those who have sent me wishes (and pressies!!), thank you very much, honto ni arigatou gozaimasu!!

Bring on the new older me!!!! Tanjoubi omedetou!!!! Wheeeeeeee!!!!!

'Can You Do Me A Favour?'

* Warning: Cursing is now in session with lots of exclamation points.

Sometimes I have to wonder...why do we do favours? I'm not talking about party favours, such as those gifts you give out at the end of a wedding or bridal shower. I'm talking about errands or helpful things we do for other people. Aside from gratitude and appreciation, what else do you get for it? Is it worth going out of your way for other people? I'm not saying that we should get payment in any form for doing favours, but it doesn't hurt if the people who ask you to help them out would be more appreciative towards you or refrain from stepping on your head.

Back in the past, I used to love helping people; my friends, my family, whoever that needed me. But, perhaps, as you grow older, you experience more unsavoury people and situations, which makes you more jaded and less inclined to be helpful. It is rare nowadays to find someone who asks you for help because they truly need it, not because they're too lazy or they don't feel like it. It is also rare to find someone who asks for your help and is really grateful for the assist, instead of thinking, "Oh, I can always ask this person to do it for me next time."

I have a few people who constantly ask me for something. "Can you send me here?" "Can you book this for me?" "Can you go and buy this for me?" "Can you check this for me?" It's a constant flow of, what I would call, 'considerate demand', which means demanding for something but putting it in a polite context to fool the person into thinking that you're asking for a favour instead of forcing for a favour. It got to the point that I started avoiding these people's calls and SMSes. I just couldn't take it anymore. Look, you, I am not your bloody driver, nor am I your servant, your errand-girl or your secretary.

I don't mind 'helping' you out but you're asking for waaaaayyyy too much and at the same time, you treat me like dirt.

(1) You make me wait for you for an hour (!!) while you choose your outfit and make-up when I'm doing you a favour by accompanying and driving you somewhere at your request. I arrive at the appointed time agreed by both parties and you're still not ready!!

(2) You ask me to run an errand, which you yourself volunteered to do and had lots of time to do it!! But, nooooo, you were too busy hanging out with your friends everyday, every free time, until it got to almost the last minute, at which you decided to call me and bombard me with lots of stupid excuses.

(3) You call me to fetch something you left at a shopping mall, even though I'm totally far away from said shopping mall, and try your best to cajole me and guilt me into going all that way for you. This one didn't succeed, thank God for my common sense.

(4) You make me come all the way to an appointed place for an outing only for you to cancel out on me after I've arrived. Hello, there's something called the telephone. At least call me before I arrive at the place so that I may change my destination. Next time you do this, I'm going to demand you pay for my petrol. I'm not some damn free person whose life revolves around you!!

(5) You pass on your responsibility as a family member to me because it's too far or you're too lazy to fetch or send someone from your family somewhere. They are your family. Stop being so selfish, thoughtless and inconsiderate all the time!! Grow up and take on some responsibilities, for God's sake.

(6) You want me to send you to a place with the excuse that you don't know the area. Hey, here's an idea, look at a bloody map!! Some of those places you want to go, I don't know the area either but at least I took the effort to look it up.

(7) You assume that I will be driving, even though you have your own car and your own valid driver's license. I am not the designated driver. We ALL have cars, at least take turns to drive. You don't even offer to pay for my petrol or even to treat me to a drink or something.

There are SO many things you guys have done to make me scream bloody murder at you but I still hold my peace. Do not go on until I finally snap!! And no, you may think you're playing the 'person-in-distress' card but in actuality, you're more of an 'opportunist'. I don't like to ask people for favours because I don't like to bother people, and now I'm starting to hate doing favours as well because of how these people treated me. You know, instead of  being like Jim Carey who keeps saying 'yes' to everything in the movie, 'Yes Man', I'm going to be the 'No Lady' or the 'We'll See Girl'. Everytime someone asks me for something, it'll be 'No' and 'We'll see'. :twisted:

Goodbye, old man 2008! Welcome, new baby 2009!

So long, father time of 2008. It's been a blast but you know how it is, out with the old, on with the new. Oh, hello, cute little baby 2009. What an adorable thing you are, filled with youth and a fresh beginning. We're gonna have so much fun, yes, we are. Ok, I know I'm talking gibberish. Could be all the partying and the high of a new year. :D

Anyway, 2008 is gone and I have to say that I'm happy and sad to reach a new year. Happy 'coz, well, hopefully the new year will bring more to life. Sad 'coz, well, it's a whole new year, the past is gone, I'm getting older (NOOOO!!!). But there's something about odd-numbered years that I just don't like, and I have no idea why. I hope the year would go well though.

2008 was a year of joy and pain for me, as I'm sure was the same for most people. Some of the miseries I faced were hurtful but they always had a silver lining behind them if I took the time to look through them.

I broke away from one relationship, which was bittersweet, but found someone else. I lost contacts with many people, which I have to say is a blessing in disguise because it helps to ease the tension I have always felt being among them. I discovered that a family member attempted to take advantage of my kindness many, many times, but I became more assertive towards this person because of it. I discovered that another family member couldn't keep their nose out of my personal life and I warned the rest of the family of this busybody so as to safeguard their own personal details from this particular person. Also, I closed my business and moved to another premise, which was a big relief.

2008 was also a year of many happiness. My young cousin got married, and in a wedding very close to what she has wished for. Another cousin has fallen in love, finally, after years of being hounded by weird (and I DO mean weird) guys. My sister-in-law gave birth to a lovely baby girl, on the 8th of August 2008 mind you, and no, it wasn't a Caesarean birth. I went to the first Formula One night race in Singapore (woohooo!!!). I managed to travel to a lot of places this year, my favourite being Pulau Tioman. And I finally got a new laptop (an Apple Mac!!! Wheee!!!).

Truth be told, I find 2009 a little bit daunting, I'm not sure why though. Actually, alot of people I talked to believe that this new year is going to be either a busy or a problematic year. I'm feeling that skittishness too, but hopefully, nothing too dramatic will happen this year. However, I have to be prepared for loads of weddings this year. There are already three weddings that I know of and it's still only the first week of the year!!

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot one of the most important things. With every new year comes that dreaded question; What's your new year's resolution? Well, I'm pleased to say that I really kept my resolution last year, which was to take as many photos as possible, and the amount of photo albums I have in my Facebook is proof of that. For this year, I'm still keeping to a simple and achievable resolution and I have made up my mind to.....(drumroll).....write as much as possible. You see, I love writing, whether it's stories, fiction, a monologue, scripts or blogs. I used to write alot back in my high school and university days but I noticed that going into the business world just kills your creativity. I haven't wrote a decent writing in so long, I forgot the feeling when you get so caught up with your characters, as though you're living their life right beside them. I finally got the inspiration for a story and I hope to at least keep at it until it's done, instead of writing half-way. So good luck to me keeping my resolution and good luck to you in keeping yours.

There's another resolution I should make for this year but I am unsure if it's possible to maintain. I haven't done it for a long time back in 2008, which was quite a record given my history, and I hope that this record remains unbroken for 2009. There were times when I've forgotten that I had this habit and at times, in certain lighting when the scars can be seen, the memories of each of those scars flooded into my mind. Hopefully it's gone for good this time but I think I'll keep to only one resolution for now.

No matter what happens this year, I hope that it will be a memorable one. I know that Malaysia will face some drastic changes this new year but I'm sure the rakyat (countrymen) can handle them, with decency and logic, I pray. Let us hope for the best this year, filled with enough happiness to keep us living but with enough sorrow to keep us humble. :D

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Junk or Treasure?

"AHHH-CHOOO!!!"

The loud sneeze traveled into the living room where my mom sat on the floor, riffling through bags of clothes, papers and old tubes of lotions.

"You better wear a mask," she called out to me. "You've been sneezing non-stop."

I sniffled and promptly let out another unfeminine blast for the umpteenth time. I was in the study/store room of the house, which was almost choked full of dust and 'stuff' (my polite word for junk) that we don't even know what's in it anymore. A few days ago, I had this brilliant idea of finally cleaning out the room of its 'indigestion'. Today, with my head throbbing, my nose sniffling and my throat sore from inhaling all the dust, I'm not so sure that I'm as smart as I think I am. :P

My mom, bless her heart, is an active charity-giver. She loves helping out her selected orphanage and frequently donates used clothes, toys and neccessities to the home. Unfortunately, whatever she collects from other people (boxes and bags of old items) are brought into the house, which are then disposed of into the study room, which is why the word 'store' has been added to the room's name.

And so, I kidnapped my young cousin to help me sort out the stuff, setting aside whatever my mom's orphanage will not use, such as revealing clothes, into one pile and throwing whatever that is truly 'a gone case' (torn clothes, broken toys) into a transparent bag for the garbage-collectors. The thing is some of the stuff we were sorting out were actually our own toys, knick-knacks and clothes way back from our younger days.

As I pulled out some soft toys, I saw a toy guitar which my mom had bought for me and I held on to it for a while. I was thinking, "Oh, my mom bought this for me. I should keep it." In the next instance though, I was shaking my head vigorously and told myself, "No, no, no! No holding on to sentimental value."

You see, this is where my mom and I differ. My mom is the type who would hold on to something for so long because it reminds her of the past, and I'm not talking about a family heirloom or an item that signifies a specific memorable time. I'm talking about old magazines from the 80s, old empty lotion tubes, clothes that don't even fit her anymore, those kind of stuff. My mom is a person who loves to say "Keep that. We can use it for (insert reason here)." No matter what it is, be it baggy clothes or old telephones, she'll always think that it can be used when people come over, when we have a gathering, or incase of emergency.

My young cousin was facing the same ordeal as she slowly looked through her old Barbie dolls and cooking set. Though she was tempted several times, she repeated my sentence 'No sentimental value' and in the end, only took one small Pooh bear back with her.

I noticed that whenever most people spring clean their house, it's always a battle to get rid of stuff. They are emotionally tied to their teddy bears which gave such comfort to them, to their high school textbooks that offered so much knowledge, even to their numerous coffee cups stained with the brown liquid. Because of what it represents, the owner finds it hard to let go. I was once just like that, but I learned from my aunt that you have to be ruthless when it comes to cleaning.

For clothes, any item that you haven't worn in 6 months should be given away. For books, any title that you find even the least bit uninteresting should be recycled. The rule to cleaning is actually pretty simple; anything you don't use, chuck it aside. It's best to have someone who is firm with you when you clean because that someone will be asking, "Do you really need that?" and "Don't you think it will be beneficial to someone else?" It will hurt to part with your stuff at first, but the feeling after the cleaning is of pure relief. It feels like a weight is off your shoulder. It feels like you can breathe in deeper. In the most basic sense of it all, it feels so much more spacious. :D

So, when you're doing your spring cleaning, remember two simple rules; (1) Be ruthless, and (2) Throw/give away anything you haven't used in a long while. Once you have hypnotized your brain into thinking that way, you most likely won't have any problems differentiating junk and treasure. :)