Sometimes...2

Sometimes, you find yourself getting so fed up with the human race and their endless emotional turmoil. There are times you find your counterparts' complaints and sensitive feelings petty and not worth a second of your time, especially when they seem to be constantly attacking you, your actions and your character. It's at times like these you feel as though you are better off alone and in certain cases, some might actually start to distance themselves from their friends, family or society in general (like a practice attempt to become a hermit :-D ).

Let's face it, friends fight, families argue, even unknown strangers can just ruin your entire day by being totally rude to you for no apparent reason. Some people are fortunate enough to not be bothered by this 'verbal diarrhea' (yes, this phrase does exist, ahaha, check it out here) or are too close to allow any quarrels to ruin their relationship. However, for others, there is a limit to how much verbal and emotional abuse they can take before they snap, either by retorting or by isolating themselves.

Yes, humans can be boring, constantly repeating their woes, their stresses. Humans can be 'so lah drama' (so true :laugh: ). Humans can be insensitive to the feelings of others, only paying attention to their need to vent to anyone, even if that unfortunate person doesn't deserve it. We can go on and on about the negativity of the human race, BUT...that is part of what we are, it is a no-refund-or-exchange package of a human. We cannot totally absolve our emotional trauma, we can only hope to squash it a little or learn to control it better. Some are able to do it better than most or are only able to do so after years of trial and error while some just simply don't bother.

I've had my fair share of being the brunt of people's verbal diarrhea; sometimes it's just them letting out some steam but more often than not, it's a 'constructive conversation' (a polite term of 'critical continuous attack' ) on my being. I wish they would just take a step back and look at themselves first before they keep pointing out my flaws. I'm not perfect but then again.....neither are you.

Attempting to see the positive side of it is not easy so I prefer thinking of a more humorous side of this particular situation, which I find much much easier to handle. :giggle: I remember this story I read in Robert Allen's '365 Pep Talks from Buddha' and I quote:-

Two monks were disputing an obscure point of the dharma. One began to get angry and, as he made his points, his voice got louder and louder. At last the other said, "I admit that your arguments are sound." Satisfied, the belligerent monk walked off. "Nothing but sound," muttered the other monk to himself.

It's true that most emotional outbursts are just sounds and it's true that any words we deem unworthy of our time or unsuitable for our 'delicate' ears are just noise, but it's more about how we handle our own drama and how we handle hearing other people's drama. I try to use humour to diffuse negative feelings whenever I'm confronted by people. 8-) Here's hoping that you have your own, and perhaps better, way of dealing it.

Sometimes...

Sometimes, you find yourself at a very low point in your life. It can be a time when nothing seems to go your way. It can be a time when you feel like the biggest failure in the world. It can be a time when you start to think, "What's the point of living?" It can be a time when you feel yourself start to crumble and unable to pick up the pieces, unable to get up again (kinda like Humpty Dumpty ;-)).

It is normal. Many people have experienced this feeling before. Some are lucky to have someone to lean on or even better, someone to help pick up the pieces, glue them back together and push them up. Others might not be as fortunate or may actually refrain from accepting or asking help from others. Everyone works in their own way, handling their life in whichever way they think is best for them. Asking for help doesn't make one weaker than others, not asking for help doesn't make one stronger than the rest either.

Anyway, when you feel this low, when you feel like a failure, you tend to forget that you have done some really great (ok, if not great, good then) things in your life. Just look around your room and I'm sure you have some mementos or keepsakes that bear good memories. Trophies and medals won during school competitions, certificates of education, acknowledgments of participation in activities, pictures of your travels, some writings you have done, heck, even small stuffed dolls won at funfairs count too. You'll be amazed at how much you have done and achieved once you lean back from your misery and take a good look around.

Sure, some would say, "But those are really small things. I didn't achieve something great like winning a nobel prize, or become a famous celebrity or a rich successful businessman." But then again, who decides what makes you successful? Who decides what makes you great? Being rich doesn't necessarily make you a great person, being famous doesn't necessarily mean happiness. It's all in your own perspective, choose your own path to what fulfills you. If you keep looking at what other people are doing, when will you have time to look at yourself and make your own success, be it richness or a close-knit family?

When I feel low (as low as a snake's belly), I like to remember this particular story I read in Robert Allen's '365 Smiles from Buddha' and I quote:-

A certain king called together his wise men and commanded them to have a magic ring made for him. It should cheer him up when he was unhappy, but when things were going well, it should stop him from getting proud and overbearing. They went away and puzzled over the problem for a long time. At last someone had a bright idea. A gold ring was brought to the king and on it were engraved the words, "This too shall pass."

Those four words help me alot whenever I'm down (I tend to focus on the negative, not so much on the positive unfortunately :laugh: and that phrase is kind of like my mantra).

And so, I would look around my room, note the accomplishments I have done so far and I find that life doesn't seem so bleak after all. I find that I'm not such a failure after all and that I am still capable of success, in my own way, in my own terms. Thus, the phrase above comes to mind and I know that this feeling of inadequacy will pass. :victory: Here's hoping that your sadness will pass too.

As I Sit Here...10

As I sit here, at Kiz Sport & Gym in One Utama, I watch as my 4-year old nephew (soon to be 5) come running up to me from his bouts in the playground.

"Auntie, I want Milo," he says.

"I want Milo, please," I tell him, still trying to educate him on politeness.

"I want Milo, pleeeeease," he repeats after me, stretching the last word. "I- I want Milo so I can grow big."

"Why you want to grow big?" Excuse my English, I am, after all, talking to a 4-year old whose native tongue is Bahasa Malaysia.

"I want...I want to be bigger than my friend." I glance over at his friend/classmate, who is a white boy with a build that is bigger and taller than my slightly slim and small nephew. I dig out my purse and listen with half an ear as my nephew proceeds to tell me how he wants to be stronger and taller so he wants to drink Milo everyday.

As I watch him run off with my RM10 note to the food counter, I start to wonder why my nephew thought Milo would help him grow bigger. Then I remember my own experience, also involving Milo.

When I was in primary school, we had a mini inter-class race. I remember spurring on one of my teammates in particular because she had eaten some Milo snacks (I think it was Milo nuggets or something) before the race. I was muttering, "C'mon, you can do it. After all, you ate Milo just now." Don't ask me the reasoning behind this; at that point in time, in my childish mind, I had some sort of belief that Milo has the power to make you run faster, be stronger, etc. When it came to my turn at the race, I sprinted, believing the whole time that I can zoom pass all the other kids because I had a 'Milo' edge. Don't ask me if we won 'coz I can't remember, haha!

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="192" caption="Nestle Milo (from www.deliver2u.com.my)"][/caption]

The thing is it's amazing how some advertisements can penetrate your conscious mind and it's even more amazing how the same product can span the generations  (case in point, me and my nephew) with the same belief; Minum Milo, Anda Jadi Sihat Dan Kuat (direct trans: Drink Milo, you'll be healthy and strong. The real English slogan is something like Nestle Milo Brings Out The Champion In You!) Makes me wonder what other advertisements have penetrated my mind without me knowing.

P.S: Do you know that Nestle came out with a Neslo sachet (Nescafe coffee with Milo, for those who dunno)? I still haven't tried it yet but I'm gonna give that and the Nescafe Tarik sachet a try as soon as I find them, yum!

Don't Talk To Me...

I have said this many, many, MANY times both verbally and in written words; there is always a reason for the things I do.

For example, if I don't wish to communicate with a certain person, it could be because he/she may have offended me in some way or he/she has hurt one of my family members. If I refuse to visit a certain place, it could be because I have had a bad experience or service there. If I do not comment or contribute to a conversation, it could be because I do not wish to hurt anyone's feelings or risk being misinterpreted. There is always a reason behind my actions.

So, when I say "Do not talk to me about issues on race, religion and politics", there is a reason behind it.

I despise talking about racial, religion and political topics because I have seen with my own eyes, I have heard with my own ears, how these issues can break a friendship, shatter a relationship, separate family members. A husband and wife can argue and sleep in separate rooms during a political election because each supports different parties. Two friends can start arguing and debating over religion and stop talking to each other because they both have their own interpretations and beliefs. A nation can be divided into groups all up in arms and accusing each other because of racial tension, each believing the other is wrong.

I find it sad.

There's only a handful of people who I can talk these three issues with and they are my brother, my cousin (Syahrir) and my friend (Kuek). Although we all have contrasting beliefs, we are mature enough to understand that we each see things differently and yet not take that to offense, and most importantly, we know when to stop talking about it if someone is feeling slightly hot under the collar.

I would love to be as diplomatic as possible. I would love to not accuse anyone without proper proof. I would love not to pass judgment on a race, a religion, a politician. I would love not to say anything that might hurt or offend the other party. Yet, I find that regardless what I say or not say, it is never good enough. If I speak my mind and say something, it's wrong. If I do not wish to comment and don't say anything, it's wrong as well. So what do you want from me?

Another thing that frustrates me alot about these types of conversation is how I always get the short end of the stick. How come you can say whatever you want, how come you can speak your mind, but I can't? How come you can say 'I don't appreciate the comment you made' and when I retaliate by saying 'I don't appreciate the comment you made either', you get all defensive? If you don't want to listen or acknowledge other people's perspective then don't bring up the issue, simple as that. I am not the enemy so there's no point in you getting all riled up at me when all I am doing is listening to you talk about something I do not wish, never wish, to delve in and contributing to the conversation based on my own opinions.

Also, in these types of conversations, you'll be amazed at the assumption people can make about you. Just because I am of a certain race and of a certain religion in a certain country, people can actually tell me that I don't 'see' what the other races and the other religions see because my race and my religion are getting the cream of the crop. So, am I justified in saying that because you are not of a certain race and you are not of a certain religion, you don't 'see' what I see? If it can go one way, it can go the other way too.

After living all these years and hearing so many things, I have learnt not to jump to the first conclusion I arrive to. That is why some people would notice that I often say, "Maybe it's not that reason", "Mayhaps it's not what you think it is", "Perhaps it's another group causing trouble but pinning the blame on another group", "Perhaps it's better to say it in a different way." Ever thought of that? Maybe not, I guess.

Don't, please don't, assume that you know how I think, know what I see, know what I hear, know what I say, when in fact, you don't know me at all. Just because I don't say certain things or don't agree with you or don't say things you want to hear, it doesn't mean I am incapable of putting myself in other people's shoes. It doesn't mean that you're right or you're wrong. It just means that we have different opinions, different perspectives, different beliefs, because we are two different people and we each should respect the fact that we have our own views. Let's just say we agree to disagree and be done with it.

This is why I love to write. It is only here, in my post, that I am able to say what I really want to say because this is my post, my blog. Some people love to talk about these three issues. They love to point out that they're right. They love to argue non-stop and vehemently debate the other party into silence, especially about race and religion. And this is what I think (and I have mentioned this before in Silence of War): Regardless what race, religion, political party or nationality you are, '...strip off your skin, your colour, your beliefs, your brain, and you are all the same. You all have two hands, two feet, two eyes, one nose, one mouth. You all feel pain, sorrow, happiness. You all cry and laugh.' To add to that, in my humbly low opinion, at the end of the day, all these differences, all these endless racial, religion and political fighting, all these 'you're wrong, I'm right' judgments won't matter once I'm dead and buried. Because then, only God can pass judgment.

As I Sit Here...9

As I sit here, reading Sally Anne Morris’s ‘Trick or Treat’, I find myself noticing the last sentence in this paragraph; “Lucy nodded back self-consciously, aware of her puffy eyes and swollen nose. She was not a good-looking crier.” :weep:

I have come across that particular or similar line a few times in my fiction-reading history and it makes me wonder, (1) Should we be crying nicely? (2) Can we cry and maintain our immaculate face and make-up?

I mean, you cry when you’re sad, right? (Well, most of the time, I don’t count the times you cry from laughing so hard). So when you’re sad and you’re crying, won’t tears flow down your eyes? And don’t your nose and cheeks start to turn pink? Also, don’t your face kind of scrunch up from all that sorrow, anguish, pain, whatnot? When all that is happening, can you actually maintain that perfect facial expression? :struggle:

I've seen myself cry before and trust me, it's not a pretty sight, hahaha! Why on Earth would I want to cry prettily anyway? Maybe it would look good on my resume, "Can cry prettily." I should get hired pretty fast, huh? ;-)

The Dealt Hand

Sometimes life deals you a hand where you have no idea which action to take. Should you fold and live to gamble another day or should you take the risk and play the round, hoping that you won't lose much or at all?

There are times when the hand you are dealt with looks good but not good enough for you to know for sure that you're going to win. You can decide to play it out and hope to chance, luck, God, whoever, whichever, that you would win the round. But if your confidence is kind of shaky, then maybe it's better for you to fold and hold out until you are dealt with a hand that you are much more comfortable with.

Then again, some people would say that it's not the dealt hand that determines the win or lose, it's the person holding the hand. Even though it's a losing hand, someone who knows how to handle it would make the most of whatever was given, or even better, someone who is clever would be able to turn the losing hand into a winning one.

So which one am I?

In my younger years, I usually play with whatever hand I was dealt with. No matter how bad or good it looked, my motto was always, "Go with the flow." I mean, there's got to be a reason why God dealt me this hand, right? Why not just play the round on the off chance that something good might come out of it. True, I didn't come out all clean and scrape-free from some of the dealt hands but hey, I survived, didn't I?

But now, as I approach my older years, I find myself cautious to the point of being suspicious. The hand that I am dealt with looks good, but then again, does it look good because I want it to look good? Is it good enough? Can I play this hand and come off unscathed if it were to betray me in the end? Or is my expertise too low to be able to handle it properly?

It is at that point of thinking that I start to back off because it is safer to not play than to play and risk my soul, my heart, my mind, my money, whatever, whichever. True, I might miss out on the winning of a lifetime or something semi-good, but perhaps I find myself too old to gamble anymore. When I was young, it didn't seem that I would lose much should I choose to gamble; the healing process was quite quick for me to get back on my feet and play again in no time at all. But with time and death knocking on my door, constantly reminding me of their presence, I find it hard to just go with the flow anymore.

C.S. Lewis was quoted, "You play the hand you're dealt. I think the game's worthwhile." Here's my thinking: I don't think I can afford to play games, in life, in relationships, anymore.

As I Sit Here...8

As I sit here, reading the newspaper (a very rare occurrence), I noticed something slightly disturbing. I have started to take note of the names of accident victims.

I don't think anyone, including me, would ever like to find out that someone you know has died in an accident (or worse, murdered!) in the papers. I still remember the few times I've seen names I recognized in the papers and trust me, it's not a good feeling. Chills crept up from my toes to my head as I realized exactly what I was reading and I had to keep the fact that "No, it's not a story" constantly through my mind.

Perhaps that is among one of the many reasons why I don't really like reading the newspapers. Everyday, without fail, there is always rape, murder, killings, corruption, etc. slotted in with all the happy news of weddings, births, election winnings, etc. It's like having my emotions put through the wringer, going "Awwww!!" at the latest pet story or smiling at a new scientific discovery only to flip to the next page and frown in disbelief at the new drugs hitting the younger generation or swearing angrily at some injustice done to someone. Sigh, it's only 10am in the morning and I'm already emotionally tired. :-((

Yeah, yeah, this is reality. This is the real world, get with it, girl, but still.....don't you wish there was one day, just one single day, when nobody is being hurt or abused in any way? Just a thought.

As I Sit Here...6

As I sit here, at Mutiara Damansara's Burger King Drive-Thru, I had a sudden thought run through my head. If we can have a drive-thru for burgers and a drive-thru for ATM (at TTDI apparently), why can't we have a drive-thru for our groceries?

I can just imagine it now (and I actually did have a short vision right at the drive-thru). I'd pull up to the window, wait for the counter-person to stick his/her head out of the window and asks me for my order.

"Hi, can I have one Gardenia loaf, a dozen eggs and a Dorina butter please?"

"We only have Nutriplus eggs. Will that be alright?"

"Yeah, that'll be fine. Oh, could you also put in a small packet of Milo please?"

"Ok, that will be RMXX.XX. Please wait a moment while I bag your items."

Yeah, yeah, I know, kind of a long daydream for someone waiting for her burger, but think about it, I think it will be a damn convenient way to buy groceries. I mean, most of the people who goes to the supermarket already know what they need to buy, they even make a list to bring with them. Can't we just hand the list over to a drive-thru grocery and not waste all the time of searching for items and ending up buying stuff that you don't need or want? Someone should check into this possibility.

I wonder if there are other industries that can have a drive-thru. Hmmmm... ?:-)

As I Sit Here...5

As I sit here, back again in One Utama's Starbucks, a big group of foreigners walked up onto the mini-platform where I and a few others were currently sitting at our respective tables. Imagine my surprise (and annoyance) when one of the kids sat as nonchalantly as you can be into the seat right opposite me at my table.

Now, I don't know how other cultures are but in Malaysia, you don't simply plunk yourself down at a table which is currently occupied, even if there's an empty seat and even if there's only one person there. You ask permission if you could sit there or if you could take the empty chair. You do not just sit as though it's your house, it's a breach of 'comfort zone'.

What's 'comfort zone'? Let me explain. Everyone has a personal space which they would feel uncomfortable if someone comes too close. It's like how annoyed you feel when you're lining up and the person behind you keeps standing too close to you. It's like how weird you feel when a total stranger walks side by side with you. My comfort zone is extremely large when I'm out alone and when I'm sitting down in a cafe or restaurant, my comfort zone spans the entire table that I am at, regardless of its size. So yes, you are breaching my comfort zone if you're a stranger and you sit unwanted and uninvited at my table. Shoo!!

People might find my need for personal space unfriendly and rude but that is how it is. Would you like it if you ordered a meal and I invade your table by taking some of your food without asking and without being offered any? Would you like it if I breath down your neck while lining up to buy movie tickets? Would you like it if I keep jumping and dancing into you at a concert? Would you like it if I stretch my hands out into your face in the cinema? Yes, now you understand the need for personal space and the importance of 'comfort zone'.

You know what I'm most disappointed in regarding this matter? The parents are right there, not four feet away, and they didn't say a single thing to their 'space-breaching' son. :reallypissed:

As I Sit Here...4

As I sit here, outside Mid Valley's Kim Gary restaurant, I couldn't help but stare at each of my friends. I haven't seen them in a while so having the chance to hang out with them again was great fun.

It's hard to believe that more than 10 years have passed since we graduated from high school because we still act the same; our behaviours, our automatic ability to be at ease with each other even though we haven't seen each other in such a long time. Of course, there are some changes in each of us but our conversation is still filled with laughter and merriment just like before.

I'm sure that some of you are aware that in every group of friends, there are different categories of people, like the joker, the storyteller, the laugher, the beauty, the listener and the academic, to name a few. As the hours pass by, it became obvious to me who is which among my friends.

Filled with stories, which some of us don't even remember, is Keiko, whom I noticed is the main talker whenever the group is together. She is the one who keeps us entertained with numerous stories and keeps us up-to-date with the latest gossips. Michelle is, without a doubt, the laugher whose laughter is loud and contagious and has been since our high school days. She is the other story-teller when Keiko runs out of topics. Djoanna is the quiet one, usually listening to the conversation yet contributing unexpected quips and lines every so often. Keeping the laughter going with her vivid imagination is Dyna, who comes up with some of the weirdest and comedic story lines. As for me, my role in the group changes with the situation but I'm usually the observer and in school, I was the reader who always had a book at all times.

We were missing two more members from our usual group in high school, though. From what I remember of Mel back in school, she is usually the clever one with somewhat of a dry humour and wit. Ena is the sarcastic one with a sharp tongue that is funny to us but might seem hurtful to some.

I'm not trying to brand people or place them in a certain category or anything, it's simply the way we are. It's like that quiz I keep seeing in Facebook recently, 'In your circle of friends, what label are you?'. We could be totally different when we hang out with other friends but when we gather together, this is what I observe and I wouldn't want them to change in any way. :-)) I'm sure after this post, you will start to notice the 'label' and 'roles' of your own friends.

It's sometimes a shame how fast time goes by and how little time we have to meet up with one another. And so, I hope that we can still have fun together even as we grow older, even though we are married with kids, and even though we are busy with work. Here's to more fun and enjoyable outings!! Cheers!! 8-)

Mine, Yours or Ours?

When does your personal blog stop being your own? I've been having this problem recently, which kind of affected the frequency of my postings. I find that I am unable to blog about what I truly feel and instead am actually stopping myself from blogging because I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. It's difficult when your logical side to not offend anyone interrupts your emotional need to write out your frustrations.

Some people who start a personal blog usually want to talk about what they did, how they feel, anything and everything personal about themselves. It's kind of like an online diary where you can vent your frustrations and share your experiences. There's no point calling it a 'personal blog' if you limit yourself to things that you think people won't find offensive or get hurt while reading.

Look, the world is HUGE, filled with so many different people. You can say that Harry Potter is stupid and offend numerous fans, and you can even say Harry Potter is great and tick off the people who view magic as the devil's craft. No matter what you say or write, no matter how tactful you try to be, there will be times when you will unknowingly (or knowingly, whichever you please) piss someone off.

Malays have this saying that goes along the lines of, "Siapa yang makan cili akan rasa kepedasannya", which directly translates to "Whoever eats the chilli will taste its spiciness." No, it's not a chilli-eating contest or whatnot. It means that those who have done something wrong will usually feel the brunt of their wrongfulness. This saying usually applies to people who feel offended when someone makes a general comment and he/she feels that it's regarding them.

For example, I can simply say, "I don't understand why smokers are so inconsiderate" and my friend could get all riled up, thinking that I meant him/her because he/she smokes and he/she likes to puff up in front of me. These are the type of people who can get upset at every little thing you say or write, even though you are talking about someone totally different, because they think it sounds like you're talking about them. And sometimes it's because of people like this that some bloggers start to re-think about what they want to write so as to avoid such problems.

I want to let my frustrations loose. I want to show my anger through my writing. I want to have the freedom to write about my annoyances and about people who take advantage of me and whatever else I feel because heck, this is my blog. I pay for the domain, I take the time to ensure the webpage is maintained and so I should be able to write whatever I want in my blog. And I'm gonna start doing that right now!!!..........maybe. Or maybe tomorrow. Hmmmmm, you know what, let me sleep on it and I'll get back to you. :blush:

As I Sit Here...3

As I sit here, in my room, late in the night, I start to think about the recent happenings going around me. A couple of people close and dear to me are sad at the moment and it breaks my heart to see them go through a difficult time in their relationships.

Human relationships are never easy. It's because humans are so complex with different brain waves, numerous emotions and unexpected behaviours. We are filled with stubbornness, egos and strong-headed-ness. We are so focused on our own emotions and our own selfs that it blinds us from other matters. If we were to take all those things away, it would, perhaps, make relationships so much more smoother, so much more clearer. And yet, if we take all those things away, it wouldn't make us human anymore.

I have went through many relationships, some I am not proud of. I remember the few times when I threw my self-respect away and begged for my ex to work things out with me, to give our relationship another chance. But.....it turned out to be a bad idea.

What I'm about to say next may seem harsh. It may seem stupid and egotistical to some people. It might make sense to others and it might offend the rest. But this is what I learnt from experience.

Communication is one of the main keys in sustaining a relationship. If one party, or both, do not open up, how will the relationship move forward? Many times, relationships break down because of failure to communicate. Failure to express how you feel, what's going on, what you like and dislike. You might think keeping it to yourself will help matters, but let's face it, you know deep down in your heart, you keep it to yourself because you're afraid. It could be you're afraid of confrontations, afraid to let your real self show, afraid that your partner will not love you anymore, afraid that you will argue more. It's fear.

But then, if you do communicate, it's pointless to shout, throw tantrums or go off in a huff after you made your points. Communication is talking things over with a clear and logical mind. If you start shouting, you won't hear what the other person is trying to say. Both parties have something valid to say, their own opinions, their own perceptions. Also, there's no point communicating when the only things to come out from your mouth are hurtful, illogical and sarcastic remarks. We have countless brain cells, let's use them to our best advantage.

I strongly believe that if my partner doesn't want me anymore, there's no reason for me to stay. It's just like how my former boss didn't appreciate me and treated me like some worthless person, so I packed up and left. My life is too short to stay with someone who doesn't want me around. Yeah, you might feel that you were used and that leaving the person will give him satisfaction.

But think of it this way.

It's stronger of you to leave than to stay because leaving something safe and venturing into the unknown future is harder and riskier. You might want revenge over him/her because of the way he/she treated you but the best revenge is to have a happy life of your own. Let God take care of those who hurt you because what He has in store for them is worse than anything you can possibly do to hurt them. I have seen this happen many times and that is why I strongly believe in karma.

I believe that some things are blessings in disguise. I believe that things do happen for a reason. And I believe that, no matter how unfair life is, no matter how much you disagree and hate what happens, God put you through this for a reason. It could be that it would make you stronger or it could be that He thinks there are better things in store for you. But no matter what He puts in your path, remember what Kelly Clarkson said, "God will never give you anything you can't handle, so don't stress."

To my loved ones, your family and friends will be there for you through this hard time so don't hide yourself in a corner or a locked room. We will get through this together. With lots of hugs, kisses and love. :heart:

As I Sit Here...2

As I sit here, in my car, driving along the LPD, I can't help but wonder.....WHY DON'T MALAYSIANS USE THEIR BLOODY SIGNAL INDICATORS??!!

I simply don't get it. Is it that hard to move your hand to the indicator? Is it that far? Will the indicator shock you with a thousand volts of electricity? Will your car starts to transform into a dragon?

It seems that Malaysians are now telephatic, able to read the minds of their fellow drivers that they're going to swerve into the next lane or drive abruptly into a turning. Malaysians are now able to read people's car language just like how some people are able to read a person's body language. This is the discovery of a lifetime!! :-/

You know, since Malaysians don't use the indicators that much, or at all, why not just do away with them altogether? My boyfriend and I were talking about this very same topic a few days ago. Maybe the government should allow car buyers the choice of whether they want the indicators. They can save, what, maybe RM30 per indicator and our local car producers can save money on having to wire the signal lights. :silly:

And you know what's the most stupid thing? Most of the people who don't signal and drive like they own the roads are usually the ones who complain about other people's driving skills and road behaviour. :razzmad:

Ugh, look, people, it's really simple. When you need to change lanes or are turning into another road, pleaseeeeee, for God's sake, just click that indicator. It doesn't take any major amount of energy and the indicators are positioned to be within easy grasp. :struggle:

As I Sit Here...

As I sit here, in Starbucks of One Utama, I can't help but notice that there's a woman and man discussing some sort of design business a few tables away from me. It's hard not to hear what they're saying because the woman is actually speaking in quite a loud voice, and it makes me wonder.....why?

Is it because she's excited? Is it because she's trying to call attention to herself? They have been here way before I came by to waste some time as I wait for my nephew, and I did notice that the volume of conversation was considerably lower earlier than it is now.

I tend to note that certain people have a tendency to talk in loud voices. My mom is one of them. There were times when she literally yelled into her handphone while having a conversation with me and I often have to tell her to lower her voice. But she's a special case because her hearing is actually troubled so to her, it sounds like she's speaking softly. But what about those younger women?

Having to sit at Starbucks (no, I don't support Starbucks, I actually HATE it, but it's the only cafe where I can sit and use a stable Internet connection for hours without being disturbed) for a few days each week, I have also seen and heard groups of women chatting away in loud voices, which are not neccessary because they are only a few inches away from each other. I never did understand that.

There are also those youngsters that we encounter everywhere who always seem to talk in this hyperactive, super-volume tones (I am one of them :-D ). I came across many of them as I went about my days around the city. A few of them are just plain normal teenagers pumped with hormones but some are the ones we saw, and despise, back in school; those I'm-too-cool-for-you girls who MUST speak in a higher tone to seek the attention they so truly deserve. :silly:

Funny how few men have this habit. ?:-)

Well, about this woman currently? She's talking loudly because apparently she's excited.....because she's about to get a design job.  :-)  I'm such a busybody. ;-)

When The Night Comes

I awoke with a start, the primal instinct taking over as the first thought that urged my body to move was 'RUN!' And I ran, all the way to my mom's room, hammering away at the door, which she had locked.

Before anyone starts thinking that I'm a mommy's girl, let me de-mist the situation.

A few nights ago, when I had finally drifted off to sleep at 2 a.m., I was jostled out of my slumber by a very loud, very long thunder. Mingled in with my instinct to run was my rational (or irrational, whichever you may please) thought saying, "The end of the world is here. The monster has awaken from the land." (For those who don't understand, ask a Muslim about the monster that is supposed to emerge when the end of the world is nigh). In all my life, I have never heard a thunder that sounds so much like a monster roaring at the heavens, and I have been through some of the worst rainstorms to hit my area.

I couldn't sleep for an hour after that. I had to psychically and mentally calm my body down, which was unfortunately still on edge at every single sound, the muscles twitching in preparation for leap. I woke up a few hours later, exhausted and tensed. It was not a good feeling. :-((

It makes me wonder whether anyone else has a problem like mine. My house used to be extremely sensitive to thunder and lightning so the slightest thunder vibration will automatically shut the whole house's electrical system, engulfing us in darkness. Ever since I saw a ghost in my room at the age of 14, I wasn't able to sleep without a light on after that and so, somewhat as per Pavlov's classical conditioning, whenever there's rain at night, I will wake up scared. Why? Because rain = thunder = electricity off = darkness = something I don't want to see!!!

Yeah, yeah, call me a baby. :razzmad: But can I help it if it's been imprinted in me? I'm only fine if someone is sleeping with me but since I'm not married and I don't have any siblings staying with me, I have to make do by kidnapping my cat to sleep with me on my bed. Which he doesn't mind, by the way, since he's scared of thunder as well. :-D

Why I Continue Writing

"You don't write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say." - F. Scott Fitzgerald

What is it about that blank piece of paper that calls out to me? What is it that makes my heart lift in an unexplained emotion whenever I pick up a new notebook? What is it that fuels my creative fire whenever I open up the Microsoft Word?

For most creative writers, we can find inspiration and stories no matter where we are. Sitting in a cafe, we can glance up, catch someone rushing somewhere and come up with a storyline. For some, the pitter-patter of rain can stir up an emotion which we transform and convey into a piece of writing. Even relaxing in bed, a simple thought can stimulate the creative juices and mold the starting of a plot.

I noticed that I don't write as much creative writing as I used to. I remember my brain being filled with dozens of stories itching to escape my brain, through my fingers and onto my ever-ready notebook. There were times when I lost stories that were important to me and it felt as though I have lost a wonderful friend, blown away by the forgetful wind before I could grab onto the trailing tendrils.

There are times when I feel disheartened with the world. How many times have writers heard discouragement from the people around them, telling them that creative writing is not a way to make a career? Sure, there are many needs for writers out there, but the difference in writing business articles and imaginative stories are as far apart as night and day. And so, many artistic lights die out before they can even be forged into a raging fire, all believing that it is hopeless before they even begun.

Yet...we still write.

Quietly and secretly, we rekindle the flames of our imagination, hiding its light from those who scorn us. Then, when we can no longer hold it back, we simply let go and watch as it grows bigger and brighter in the hopes that by chance, our writing will touch the hearts of those who need it, those who understand it, and those who, like us, are trying to keep our creativity alive.

I love the above quote and have often recited it to myself. Recently, however, while I still believe Fitzgerald's saying is right in a way, I also believe that we write because of both the reasons; we want to say something because we need to keep our writing hopes alive, and we have something to say because we are constantly fueled and inspired by life.

Here's hoping that creative writers and storytellers will never fade away in a world so concerned with business facts, political statements, commercial information and financial details.

'Sisterhood'

Anyone who has watched the comedy series 'How I Met Your Mother' (which is awesome, by the way), would know what I'm talking about when I mention 'The Bro Code' *cue dramatic music*.

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="200" caption="The Bro Code (from http://www.tvweek.com)"][/caption]

Neil Patrick Harris plays the playboy Barney Stinson who created this rule book for all men, which covered almost every situation under the sun, and was titled as The Bro Code *cue dramatic music again*. Anyway, one code that caught my attention was in Season 3, episode 17, where Barney said, "The Bro Code clearly states, 'No sex with your bro's ex.'" That got me thinking, maybe we should make a Bro Code for women.

Why? Because just like some men, some women seem to have no boundaries when it comes to relationships. The first and foremost rule for the 'Chick Code' (still working on the title) should be 'No affairs with any man who is married or currently in a relationship', which should be applied across the world, not just limited to the people you know.

There have been many times when conversations turned to men who cheat, how they tricked and lied to their spouses/partners just to have an affair, a mistress or a second, third, fourth, how many more, wife. However, women who have complained about these men should also look at the women involved in these two-timing sessions.

I will never understand how a woman could even think about stealing another woman's man. There are SOOOOO many single men out there, why must you go after or entertain or flirt back with a man who already has a partner?

Some women reasoned that the man was the one who chased after them. Others often said, "But I truly love him." Some claimed that it was just an innocent fling. A few cruel ones answered, "All's fair in love and war." I admit there were times when I wasn't a loyal girlfriend. I have had my own share of affairs and cheats (usually because my ex-boyfriends treated me like dirt) but I am proud enough to say that I have never went out on a date or had a relationship with a taken man. Once I find out that the man has a girlfriend (I'll never go out with a married man), boom, that's it, adios, amigo. I may cheat but I won't hurt another woman in the process. Hurting the man is bad enough.

My step-mother knew that my father was married yet she and her family still went ahead to pursue and 'persuade' my father into marrying her. I had a friend who complained about my ex-boyfriend constantly when I was still in a relationship with him, only to up and date him after we broke up (this doesn't really count because we broke up but it's still a sign of betrayal between fellow chicks). I know people who are dating married men (dating as in watching movies and holding hands, not going out for innocent drinks at mamak stalls) fully aware that these men have a wife. I also know women who know that the guy has a girlfriend yet they still chase after him with the stupid reason, "They're not married so it's fair game."

I also hate people answering, "But they aren't happy with each other anyway" when they try to 'legitimate' their actions. Excuse me, but unless they are truly broken up and categorize themselves as single or divorced with fully signed papers and all, then fine, you can stick in your desperate nose and cling your sticky claws into the man. But before that, he is still another woman's man.

I believe in karma; you do something bad, something equally bad or worse will happen to you.  Look at me, I cheated on my ex-boyfriend and sure enough, my next boyfriend cheated on me; it's karma, fair and square.

I'm writing this post because I am worried. Someone I personally know is going out with a married man and what's worse is that she knows he's married. If the man were to ever divorce his wife and marry her, how can she be sure that he won't do the same to her later on? How can she live with herself, knowing that she is part of a reason behind a divorce?  Or is she willing to be a second wife, or God forbid, a mistress? If I myself am feeling ashamed at her actions, how would her family feel?

Seeing how my mom suffered because of some floozy waltzing into my father's arms (and stupid father who agreed to marry her) and seeing my aunts who experienced the same thing with their husbands made me hate affairs. I don't ever want to see that hurt on any girl's face, married or not. I hope 'she' realizes in time that she's hurting a wife and mother before it's way too late.

Phone Etiquette for Salespeople & Tele-marketers

If you have been besieged by telemarketers and salespeople before or even by any other unknown callers, then you would have experienced the many types of people and their 'conversation style'. My brother, mother and I have had our fair share of these unwanted callers and truth be told, I have to say I wonder how their company trains them in phone etiquette. Here are some manners I wish 'customer support' people would learn.

• I know that for certain companies, they would never tell their call centres to start with 'Is it convenient for you to talk at the moment, sir/madam?'. The reason behind this is that once the caller asks that, the customer is then able to straight away answer, 'No, I'm not free. Call me later.' Well, it's rude of you to assume that we're free and not ask for permission to set aside our valuable time for you. Thus far, I've only had ONE company whose caller asked that after introducing himself. This doesn't just apply to telemarketers, it's also a good habit to adopt for anyone who has to call people, whether friends or business associates. (1) Just because you're free to talk, it doesn't mean that the person on the other end is free to listen. They may answer the phone but they may, in fact, only have a minute to spare. Put yourself in their shoes and think about that.

• Some callers wouldn't dare to be rude to their customers. This is mostly because they have to introduce themselves and the company so the name and contacts are available, but the main reason behind their politeness is that their conversations are often recorded for 'training purposes'. A telemarketer once called my mom to promote something and she told him over and over that she wasn't interested. He finally yelled at her that she was 'uneducated' and slammed down the phone. YOU are the one calling US, YOU are the one wasting OUR TIME with your job which you are being paid for, we are YOUR CUSTOMERS of which you are trying to sell us something, and that is how you treat us? (2) Should you decide to be rude to your customer, remember that there are now caller IDs, Internet search engines, Internet forums and newspaper complaint pages. A salesman from BMW Glenmarie decided to leave a very rude voice-mail on my phone and I not only called back to chastise him, I went straight to the office in question to make a complaint. Either be polite or risk having your and your company's image ruined.

• Many people on the Net have been complaining, asking and commenting on these MLM companies in Malaysia. There's one in particularly that just pissed me off, peaklifestyle.com or enjoygreatlife.com. Stupidly of me, I filled in my contact number at their website to get more information on their 'home based business', which I totally forgot after that. The woman who called me was brisk and sharp, making an appointment for me to 'meet up with them' without me even knowing who or what they are. At the end of the conversation, I asked where she had actually gotten my contact and she said, "I only have 2 minutes for you." What the hell? To me, you are being dismissive and rude like a sergeant to his wayward soldiers. (3) Today's customers cherish their privacy. Yes, we DO want to know who leaked out our contact and yes, we DO want to know what you're selling before we attend your seminar. When you don't offer at least a little bit of information to peak our interest, why should we believe anything you say? For all we know, when we go to your 'seminar', you might just sell us off as slaves or something. :P

• When we say 'no, we mean 'no'. I had the people of Fitness First calling me up again and again, and there were all different callers. One will call me and I'll tell them I'm not interested, only to have another call me up the next month. (4) You have a customer database, so when a customer says 'no', just jot that down beside their name and move on. If you keep calling the same disinterested customer, you're not just irritating them and marring your company's name, you're also wasting your time, energy and money.

One day, if I'm really irritated, I think I'd do exactly what my brother did; play with them. My brother got so fed up that every single telemarketer who called him received a very long round-about conversation. :twisted:

Does Anyone Still Want To Use Taxis?

Yesterday, as I was slurping up some Wan Tan Mee for brunch, I read what may have been one of the worst suggestions ever made regarding our 'dear' Malaysian taxis. As I'm sure most Malaysians, and a few unlucky tourists, know, we've been having problems with our local taxi drivers, what with the lack of using the meters, refusal to send passengers to certain areas, and of course, marking up the fare. :x

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="262" caption="Malaysian Taxi (from Getty Images)"][/caption]

So, in The Star paper yesterday (Wednesday, 1st April 2009), a short article by Lester Kong was highlighting these rogue taxi drivers. The Road Transport Department, better known as JPJ, was going to "send show-cause letters to 612 taxi drivers", demanding them to respond within three weeks in regards to their "offenses of not using meters, overcharging, not displaying their driver cards and refusing to pick up passengers." Would you believe that a JPJ operation showed that only 15 out of 627 drivers followed these regulations? It definitely explains the mistrust we have towards Malaysian taxi drivers in general.

Anyway, the article continued on with some suggestions on curbing this irresponsible and unprofessional behaviour, and here is the suggestion that I mentioned earlier. "Taxi drivers and associations have suggested to the Government to increase the starting meter fare from RM2 to RM4 if they want taxi drivers to behave."

What the hell??!!

Do you know what that sounds like? It's like asking the public to pay the taxi drivers so that they would behave. It's like, "Hey, I'll give you two additional ringgit if you'd switch on your meter and send me here during the most jammed time." It's like what Malays often do to little children to get them to start fasting, i.e. a ringgit for each day they fast. Are they going to try and use it to the snatch-thieves as well? "Let's give all snatch-thieves RM5 so that they won't harm the public anymore."

Look, regardless how much you raise the starting meter, it would not work. What's the point of gaining an extra measly RM2 when you can gain at least RM5 to RM10 more by overcharging passengers or putting a fixed rate to go somewhere? I had one taxi driver asking me to pay him RM25 for a journey from KLCC to Lake Garden without his meter. Hello??!! I doubt the journey costs that much.

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="204" caption="Malaysian Taxi Driver (from www.daylife.com)"][/caption]

Moving on, one of the interviewed taxi drivers claimed that the starting meter rate was set 13 years ago and that it should be reviewed as prices for most other goods and services were raised parallel to the economic growth. Personally, the rate that should be increased is the rate per kilometer, not the starting meter fare. That, in my opinion, is more fair and makes much more sense what with our up-and-down petrol prices, wear-and-tear of the taxi and other factors that I won't go through here.

Look, there's always a root to every problem. Based on the articles, voiced-out opinions and forums I read, the root is so diverse and points to many directions. Some say the taxi drivers' moral values should be questioned for using such underhanded tricks. Others point the finger of blame to the taxi companies that imposed high rates for the lease and permit on the drivers, a number which they are unable to meet. Then, of course, there's the story (which I don't know is true or not so don't ask me) that the private taxi companies are owned by 'cronies of certain organizations'. A few people complain that the Government is at fault because the public is suffering by paying these 'additional rates', not the Government, thus the reason why the Government is not reacting. So, which is the root of the problem? All or them? None of them?

Whatever it is, I think it is best for the moment to avoid taking unscrupulous taxi drivers. If the taxi driver refuses to use a meter, refuse to ride with him. He'll then have to waste precious time and wait for another passenger to consider using his service. At the airport, PLEASE take the taxis that use the coupon system, not the ones that hound you as soon as you leave the arrival hall. Be safe.

Earth Hour 2009

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="180" caption="Earth Hour"][/caption]

At 8.30 pm on March 28, 2009, Malaysia took part in the highly publicized and celebrity-sponsored Earth Hour. The Curve shopping complex shut off their exterior lights as did our beloved KLCC Twin Towers. Some mamak restaurants answered the 'lights off' call as well, serving their customers with candles. Many Malaysians did their own part at home, switching off the lights and other non-essential electrical items and appliances for that one hour.

As for me, it was supposed to be an hour in darkness with only the television on for my mom, but the plan expanded to include three of my closest friends. We had fun and laughed alot, taking scary pictures of ourselves holding candles and telling bits of stories. Because all the fans were off, we sweated quite a bit from the still air and one of my friends complained of mosquitoes buzzing around him. Near the end, we even did some tarot card readings. Some of my neighbours seemed to have done their part for Earth Hour too, although I wasn't exactly sure they were even at home. :? The hour seemed to fly by and we were all surprised when my mom announced that it was already 9.30 pm.

[caption id="attachment_1193" align="alignright" width="200" caption="My friend, Sean, giving the thumbs up for Earth Hour"][/caption]

I know that there were differing views regarding Earth Hour in Malaysia. While many wanted to join in 'the fun', others were heard categorizing the worldwide event as a 'publicity stunt' and 'media propaganda'. You can see the difference in their thinking through just their Facebook profile status with some criticizing others for not participating and others claiming that this 'switching off lights event' shouldn't just be during that one hour.

While, of course, some companies were involved in Earth Hour primarily to garner public attention and to perhaps pretend to adopt a 'green attitude' for better public image, there are those who were sincere in participating to reduce global warming. Some companies even made money during the Earth Hour itself by selling T-shirts, reusable bags and other 'green' knick knacks. However, no matter what's their purpose, corporate or individual, you have to admit that public awareness of Earth Hour and what it stands for has penetrated even the densest mind. Ask anybody and I am certain that each person knows what Earth Hour is.

Yes, it is true that we should reduce the amount of wasteful electricity, pollution and carbon footsteps everyday and not just during an organized event, but think about it. For once, in a long time, parts of the world were united in one cause, towards one vision. It is rare for people of different countries of different races with different backgrounds and different opinions to stand together for something that is not a disaster (tsunami, earthquake, war), and you have to admit that Earth Hour managed to do it. Of course, being of different timezones, we weren't all exactly in sync but, hey, look at it like a wave of darkness going around the world. :D

Who knows, maybe next year we'll see the entire world go dark instead of a few participating places scattered here and there. We will hope for something greater and better for all of us in the years to come. 8)

[caption id="attachment_1191" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="The hands that supported Earth Hour"][/caption]